[Avodah] [Areivim] Polygamy
chana at kolsassoon.org.uk
chana at kolsassoon.org.uk
Tue Feb 5 02:35:13 PST 2008
Moving this to Avodah:
I wrote:
> >But there is mention of more. The assumption throughout the
tractates you
> >mention is that the natural state of Tzaros vis a vis one another
is one of
> >hate, to the extent that eg in Yevamos 118a, one wife is assumed to
be
> >prepared to be mekalkel herself (by pretending that the mutual
husband was
> >dead) in order to be mekelkel the other wife - saying (to link to
another
> >thread) "tamus nafsheha im plishtim". That is not a nice pretty
> >relationship we are discussing here.
>I believe that you are conflating two Gmaraos, The one you cite, as
>opposed to the one I cite below, refers to a 'zarah' testifying 'lo
>mes', not 'mes'; the kilkul in your case is the consequent
prohibition
>on both of them from remarrying, not, as in the case I cite, the
>manipulation of the woman to remarry illegally.
I see I misremembered the pshat of the gemora - although looking over
it again, I am surprised. After all attempting to render oneself an
aguna, just so as to render one's tzarah an aguna, while obviously not
a great situation, seems strangely worded as "mekalkel". Whereas the
reverse situation, where one might be rendered forbidden to one's
husband, is surely more accurately described as mekalkel.
>The Mishnah (Y'vamos 117a) states: "All are believed to testify [to
>permit a wife to remarry] except for her mother-in-law, her
>mother-in-law's daughter, her 'zarah', her 'y'vamah', and her
husband's
>daughter." Rashi (ibid.) explains "the reason for all of them is
that
>they hate her and they intend to ruin her. Her mother-in-law hates
>her, for she says in her heart 'this one will consume all my toil and
>trouble'". Although there's no element of "tamus nafshi im
>Plishtim" here, we do see that Hazal assumed that mother-in-laws
>typically hate their daughter-in-laws, or at least that this is often
>enough the case for their testimony to be suspected as unreliable;
>Hazal's assumption about the 'zarah' relationship may be of a similar
>nature, and I don't think we can conclude that they actually
considered
>the latter relationship any more pathological than the former.
But it is precisely the tamus nafshi im Plishtim aspect that
distinguishes the tzarah case from the others. From the mother-in-
law's perspective, she gets rid of that pesky daughter in law who is
consuming everything she worked for without personal cost - as it does
not impact on her status at all (well her son might have what to say,
but still). And even vice versa, the daughter in law remains without
any questions on her marriage. However, in the case of a tzarah,
whatever she says about the situation vis a vis her tzarah, by
definition logically impacts on herself as well. And that would seem
to give her an added impetus not to lie over and above the other women
who logically are regarded as hating each other. Which is why, while
the flow of the gemora on 118a might appear to be regarding a lo meis
case, it still seems to me to be at least implicitly a commentary on
the mishna and the particularly fraught nature of the relationship
between tzaros in general, whether in a meis or lo meis case. In none
of the other cases is there a tamus nafshim im Plishtim aspect - and
that seems to me to clearly make it more pathalogical than the other
relationships - something that it seems to me Chazal identify by use of
the phrase.
>> Chana
>Yitzhak
Regards
Chana
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