<div dir="ltr"><div><br></div><div>The Gemara uses the following as a proof that  eulogizing is for the benefit of the dead. </div><div><br></div><div>תלמוד בבלי מסכת סנהדרין דף מז עמוד א<br>תא שמע, רבי נתן אומר: סימן יפה למת שנפרעין ממנו לאחר מיתה. מת שלא נספד ולא נקבר, או שחיה גוררתו או שהיו גשמים מזלפין על מטתו - זהו סימן יפה למת<div><br></div><div> <span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,231);color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"Times New Roman";font-size:medium">Come and hear! R. Nathan said: It is of good omen for the dead when he is punished [in this world] after death. E.g., if one dies and is not mourned, or [properly] buried, or if a wild beast drags him along, or if rain drips down on his bier, it is a good omen for him</span></div></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>We are also told that eulogizing is an important mitzvah.</div><div><br></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><b><span lang="HE" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black">שולחן ערוך
יורה דעה הלכות אבילות סימן שמד סעיף א</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif">^{<span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> (א')</span>}<span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> מצוה גדולה להספיד על המת כראוי</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"><br></span></p><br> and that  if the eulogy is inappropriate both the eulogizer and the eulogizee will suffer</div><div><br></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><b><span lang="HE" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black">שולחן ערוך
יורה דעה הלכות אבילות סימן שמד סעיף א</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> וכל המזכיר על מי שלא היה בו כלל, או שמוסיף להפליג
יותר מדאי על מה שהיה בו, גורם רעה לעצמו ^(ה') ולמת.</span></p></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>  If you were driving it for the benefit of the dead and it’s a good omen for the dead, not to be your eyes, why don’t we see more people asking not to be apologizing, especially since the full condition is that they will be

We also know that the eulogizee can request that there be no eulogy and he will be obeyed<span style="font-family:Calibri,sans-serif;font-size:14.6667px">, but we are given no guidance on whether he should make such a request </span></div><div><br></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:fuchsia"> </span><span style="font-size:11pt"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><b><span lang="HE" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black">שולחן ערוך
יורה דעה הלכות אבילות סימן שמד סעיף י</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif">^{<span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> (טז')</span>}<span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"> מי שצוה שלא יספדוהו, ^(א) שומעין ל</span><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:24px">ו</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black">Given the above, why don't we see more requests for no eulogy given the benefit to the dead?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black">bsorot tovot</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:black">Joel Rich</span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="margin:0in;line-height:normal;direction:rtl;unicode-bidi:embed;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"><span lang="HE" style="font-size:18pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;color:fuchsia"> </span></p></div><div><br></div><br></div>