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<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" color=#000000 size=2
face=Arial>From: Micha Berger <micha@aishdas.org><BR><BR>That said, tact
is sufficient to permit shinui, misleadingly telling<BR>the truth, but not
lying. In this case, in the eyes of her chasan she<BR>is presumably na'ah
vachasudah. (And hopefully will remain so at 120.)<BR><BR>As an aside: This
makes the custom of singing "keitzad meraqdim"<BR>humorously ironic. We get in
front of the bride and sing the words one<BR>says when they have to be
less-than-fully-honest...<BR><BR><BR>-- <BR>Micha
Berger
<BR>micha@aishdas.org <BR>http://www.aishdas.org
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<DIV>The Gemara is not saying that one has to be less-than-fully-honest when the
kallah is not so pretty. The Gemara is saying that "every bride is
beautiful" is the REAL truth, more true than "Some are and some aren't."</DIV>
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<DIV>Similarly -- I want to say I heard this from my father, but I don't
remember exactly how he put it -- but the idea was, every time you "change"
something for the sake of peace, for the sake of not hurting a person's feelings
-- peace is the real emes, and that kind of shinui is not a lie, but a deeper
truth. So not only a bride, but anyone -- if they bought furniture or a
dress or a suit or gained a few pounds -- it is always true to say, "That is
very pretty, you look nice" and so on.</DIV>
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<DIV>[OTOH lying to get /yourself/ out of trouble -- especially lying to escape
your obligations or to escape taking responsibility when you have done wrong --
is not "emes" but actual sheker. Lying over something
relatively trivial, in order to avoid an angry argument, is a gray
area -- like telling your husband a dress cost a little less than it really
did.]</DIV>
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<DIV><FONT color=#0000ff></FONT><BR><FONT color=#0000ff><STRONG>--Toby
Katz</STRONG></FONT><FONT lang=0 color=#ffffff size=2 face=Arial
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PTSIZE="10"><BR><STRONG>=============</STRONG><BR><BR><BR>-------------------------------------------------------------------
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