<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"><head><meta http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"><meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 14 (filtered medium)"><style><!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;}
@font-face
{font-family:Tahoma;
panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";}
a:link, span.MsoHyperlink
{mso-style-priority:99;
color:blue;
text-decoration:underline;}
a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed
{mso-style-priority:99;
color:purple;
text-decoration:underline;}
p
{mso-style-priority:99;
mso-margin-top-alt:auto;
margin-right:0in;
mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;
margin-left:0in;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";}
p.MsoAcetate, li.MsoAcetate, div.MsoAcetate
{mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-link:"Balloon Text Char";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
font-size:8.0pt;
font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif";}
span.BalloonTextChar
{mso-style-name:"Balloon Text Char";
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-link:"Balloon Text";
font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif";}
span.EmailStyle20
{mso-style-type:personal;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:windowtext;}
span.apple-converted-space
{mso-style-name:apple-converted-space;}
span.EmailStyle22
{mso-style-type:personal-reply;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
font-size:10.0pt;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
--></style><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026" />
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapelayout v:ext="edit">
<o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1" />
</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>My question is simply – according to those who are machmir, how do they explain the common custom at the funeral of a spouse to request mechilah from the spouse.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>They are clearly not addressing HKBH. Why isn’t this a problem?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>** Ba'er Heitev (581: ##17) However, Gesher HaChaim writes: "But many permit addressing the deceased and saying to him: 'Be our representative and pray for us to Hashem, Blessed is He." Since one asks the deceased to pray to Hashem, Blessed is He, this is not considered directing one's efforts towards the deceased himself. It is like asking a living tzaddik to pray for one." And see responsa Maharam Shick (Orach Chaim #293).<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:14.0pt;color:#1F497D'>====================================================================<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:14.0pt;color:#1F497D'>I think the larger question is what does it mean for one who is no longer in this world to pray or to grant mechilah. Is there some type of bechirah chofshit that survives death? If so, why is there no reward/punishment for decisions made in the olam haemet?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:14.0pt;color:#1F497D'>One might understand it as really focused on those in the olam haasiah, they must still seek mechila, they must still pray to HKB”H and draw strength from those no longer here – but it doesn’t seem that’s what the footnote is thinking<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:14.0pt;color:#1F497D'>KT<br>Joel Rich<o:p></o:p></span></p></div><br><br><table bgcolor=white style="color:black"><tr><td>THIS MESSAGE IS INTENDED ONLY FOR THE USE OF THE <br>
ADDRESSEE. IT MAY CONTAIN PRIVILEGED OR CONFIDENTIAL <br>
INFORMATION THAT IS EXEMPT FROM DISCLOSURE. Dissemination, <br>
distribution or copying of this message by anyone other than the addressee is <br>
strictly prohibited. If you received this message in error, please notify us <br>
immediately by replying: "Received in error" and delete the message. <br>
Thank you.<br>
</td></tr></table></body></html>