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<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" color=#000000 size=2
face=Arial><BR>On 21/06/2012 3:42 PM, T613K@aol.com wrote:<BR>> [1] What
about the idea that those who have passed away come back and<BR>> go to the
simchas of their relatives and descendants? They must know<BR>> about
the weddings at least! Or do you have to explicitly invite them<BR>> if
you want them to come? [--TK]<BR><BR>From: Zev Sero <zev@sero.name><BR>The
common minhag is to go to the graves and invite them. Do they not
do<BR>that in your family? (What if the graves are not accessible, or
they<BR>never came to kever yisroel? Does that mean they don't come?
I don't<BR>know. Maybe if you invite those whose graves you can access,
they will<BR>inform the others?)<BR><BR><BR><BR>-- <BR>Zev
Sero
<BR>zev@sero.name <BR></FONT></FONT></DIV>
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<DIV>"Do they not do that in your family?" Yes we do do that in our family, if
the cemetery is reasonably accessible. I guess that means my paternal
grandparents go to family weddings in America and my maternal grandparents go to
weddings in Israel. But in reality I thought that going to the cemetery and
formally inviting the grandparents was just a nice thing to do -- to show them
honor and show they are still loved and missed. I assumed they would come even
if not formally invited -- and even if they have to cross the ocean to get to
the wedding. I have not yet had the zechus to marry off my own
children -- I must ask my brother in Toronto if he sent someone to the bais olam
in Bet Shemesh to invite my grandparents to the Toronto weddings. I highly
doubt that the siblings in Israel sent anyone to New Jersey to invite my
grandparents who are buried there, when they made their children's weddings
in E'Y.</DIV>
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<DIV>Anyone know sources re whether the grandparents will come even if not
formally invited? And do you have to go the cemetery -- or could you just
kind of address the air, or a photo of your grandparents, and invite them that
way? And hm, I wonder if you could do something like what Lubs do at the
Ohel -- send an invitation to the cemetery office, and ask them to read it at
the kevarim of the grandparents who are buried there? I wonder what the
cemetery workers would think of such a request? And do you leave the
invitation there -- on the ground?</DIV>
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<DIV><FONT lang=0 color=#0000ff size=2 face=Arial FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"><BR><STRONG>--Toby Katz<BR>=============</STRONG><BR>Romney -- good
values, good family, good
hair<BR><BR><BR>-------------------------------------------------------------------
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