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<DIV><FONT lang=0 color=#000000 size=2 face=Arial FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10"><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" color=#000000 size=2 face=Arial>From: "kennethgmiller@juno.com" <A href="mailto:kennethgmiller@juno.com">kennethgmiller@juno.com</A><BR>.<BR><BR>I
wrote:<BR><BR>> Similarly, if a woman is not pregnant, or is in the
beginning<BR>> stages of her pregnancy, it is perfectly okay to pray for
the<BR>> gender of the child. While it is true that Hashem *does*
know<BR>> what gender the child will end up being, He has not yet - so
to<BR>> speak - made this decision. There is still time to pray and<BR>>
influence this future choice of His. At some point in the<BR>> pregnancy (40
days, IIRC) He will make that decision, based on<BR>> whatever factors He
uses for this sort of thing, at which point<BR>> the child's gender will not
be an undecided thing that one may<BR>> pray for, but it will be an
accomplished fact, which no one may<BR>> pray for (except for those tzadikim
who are allowed to pray for<BR>> miracles, which this would be).<BR><BR>I was
asked why I made this distinction between the early and late stages of
pregnancy, and specifically where I got this shiur of "40 days". After all, the
Mishna (Brachos 54a) and Rambam (Brahos 10:22) simply say that this prayer must
not be said then the wife is pregnant. Whence this exception for early
pregnancy?<BR><BR>The source seems to be the Tur OC 230, who writes, "... but
davka after 40 days of pregnancy. But within 40 days, his tefilah is effective."
The MB (230:1) explains, "Because the shape of the newborn will have been
formed; but witin 40 days, tefilah is effective." ......<BR><BR>Akiva
Miller</FONT></FONT></DIV>
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<DIV>Leah davened for Dina to be a girl and not a boy so that Rochel wouldn't be
left with just one son/one shevet (they knew there were going to be 12
shevatim). Somebody (Rashi?) says that's why whenever the Torah refers
to Dina it spells the word "na'arah" defective, with the final heh missing,
so it can be read "na'ar." (Although I've noticed that strangely, the word
"na'arah" is /always/ spelled without a final heh throughout the Chumash! --
IIRC) </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I also heard or read somewhere that because Dina was supposed to be a boy
and changed to a girl, she was infertile. (Which I realize contradicts a
midrash that she did have a child, "Shaul ben haCanaanis.")</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>In terms of our current knowledge of when it's too late to change the
fetus' gender, we now know that would be as soon as the sperm and the egg
combine. Before we had this knowledge, davening during pregnancy might
have been effective, but now that we have this knowledge, we can't daven during
pregnancy anymore because it would be asking for the impossible, like the
forbidden prayer when one hears that there was a fire, "Please don't let it be
my house that burned" -- a prayer to change the past, which cannot work.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Rarely, a baby is born who is externally one gender though his/her
chromosomes are of the other gender, but those children usually have messed up
or mixed up internal organs and cannot reproduce. So davening to "change
the past" might just be effective in messing the baby up. So the best
thing would be /not/ to daven for a sex change at any time in pregnancy, but
only to daven for a baby of the desired sex /before/ the Mrs. goes to the mikva
or when it is definitely sure that she is not yet pregnant. You can also
daven during pregnancy something like this, "Please grant that this baby be
healthy and normal, whatever sex it is, and that my /next/ baby be a boy."</DIV>
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<DIV><FONT lang=0 color=#0000ff size=2 face=Arial FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10"><BR><STRONG>--Toby Katz<BR>================</STRONG></FONT><FONT lang=0 color=#000000 size=2 face=Arial FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10"><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR>_____________________
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