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<font size=3>At 01:05 PM 7/6/2011, Rn T. Katz wrote:<br>
<blockquote type=cite class=cite cite="">My mother covers her hair with
turban-type hats that fully cover her hair (not like the hats worn
by women in some circles who permit the showing of some hair in
front). However, I have worn a sheitel since I got
married. There is no issue of hataras nedarim nor do we have
matrilineal minhagim -- not patrilineal minhagim either, for that matter,
in the case of a married woman. Is there such a word as
"virilineal" -- husband-based? I grew up in a home
where knaidlach were never served at the seder but no one ever
suggested that I, when I married a Litvak, had to do hataras
nedarim before eating knaidlach on Pesach. As for keeping my
mother's minhagim -- there's no such thing. I follow my
husband's minhagim, and that is the norm. Even if your mother did make a
vow not to wear a sheitel, parents' vows are not binding on their
children. A nazir's children do not have to refrain from
wine. However, I will mention one area where there may possibly be a
matrilineal minhag, and that is Shabbos candle lighting. When
I got married, I was under the impression that if your mother
lights a candle for each child, then you, when you have your own
home, should follow your mother's custom in this. However, my
husband said that you follow your husband's custom. His
custom (which technically then is my mother-in-law's A'H custom) is
to light only two candles. So that is what I do. If I
felt strongly about it, he probably wouldn't mind my adding extra candles
for the children, but in the event I have not done so. I
wonder what the chevra here say about candle-lighting -- mother's
or mother-in-law's minhag? More than with the issue of
head-covering, I can see where people might think it goes according
to the mother because candle-lighting is one of the three special
mitzvos for women. In contrast, issues of tznius, what to
wear, fashion and head-covering, go according to the community of which
you are part, and normally a wife is part of her husband's
community. --Toby Katz</font></blockquote><br>
I recall reading years ago about a newly married woman whose mother
shaved her head and who wanted to do the same thing. Her husband
did not want her to do this. Reb Moshe was asked and he replied,
IIRC, (1) Shaving the head is an unsightly/inappropriate thing to do, and
(2) a woman is supposed to follow the minhagim of her husband.
Hence, she should not shave her head. YL<br><br>
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