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<DIV><FONT lang=0 color=#000000 size=2 face=Arial FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10">In a message dated 7/6/2011, llevine@stevens.edu writes:</DIV>
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<BLOCKQUOTE style="BORDER-LEFT: blue 2px solid; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px"><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" color=#000000 size=2 face=Arial>>>From <A title=http://tinyurl.com/3prdne8 href="http://tinyurl.com/3prdne8" eudora="autourl">http://tinyurl.com/3prdne8</A><BR><BR><FONT size=3>The
question arose about a young woman who was getting married, whose mother did
not wear a wig. She wished to know that if she changed from her family custom
of wearing head coverings (scarves and hats) and would start wearing a Peah
Nochrith (wig), was there (a) a problem with this and (b) was she required to
do Hattarath Nedarim (an <I>annulment </I>of vows) since this was something
that was long accepted in her home and considered a
vow?<<</FONT></FONT></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>
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<DIV>>>>>></DIV>
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<DIV>My mother covers her hair with turban-type hats that fully cover her hair
(not like the hats worn by women in some circles who permit the showing of some
hair in front). However, I have worn a sheitel since I got
married. There is no issue of hataras nedarim nor do we have
matrilineal minhagim -- not patrilineal minhagim either, for that matter, in the
case of a married woman. Is there such a word as "virilineal"
-- husband-based? I grew up in a home where knaidlach were never
served at the seder but no one ever suggested that I, when I married a
Litvak, had to do hataras nedarim before eating knaidlach on Pesach.
As for keeping my mother's minhagim -- there's no such thing. I follow my
husband's minhagim, and that is the norm.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Even if your mother did make a vow not to wear a sheitel, parents' vows are
not binding on their children. A nazir's children do not have to refrain
from wine.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>However, I will mention one area where there may possibly be a matrilineal
minhag, and that is Shabbos candle lighting. When I got married, I
was under the impression that if your mother lights a candle for each child,
then you, when you have your own home, should follow your mother's custom in
this. However, my husband said that you follow your husband's
custom. His custom (which technically then is my mother-in-law's A'H
custom) is to light only two candles. So that is what I do. If I
felt strongly about it, he probably wouldn't mind my adding extra candles for
the children, but in the event I have not done so. I wonder what the
chevra here say about candle-lighting -- mother's or mother-in-law's
minhag? More than with the issue of head-covering, I can see where people
might think it goes according to the mother because candle-lighting is one of
the three special mitzvos for women. In contrast, issues of tznius, what
to wear, fashion and head-covering, go according to the community of which you
are part, and normally a wife is part of her husband's community.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=0 color=#0000ff size=2 face=Arial FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10"><BR><STRONG>--Toby Katz<BR>================</STRONG></FONT><FONT lang=0 color=#000000 size=2 face=Arial FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10"><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR>_____________________
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<BLOCKQUOTE style="BORDER-LEFT: blue 2px solid; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px"><FONT lang=0 color=#000000 size=2 face=Arial FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10"><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" color=#000000 size=2 face=Arial><FONT size=3><BR><BR></FONT></FONT> </BLOCKQUOTE></FONT></DIV></FONT></BODY></HTML>