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In Parshas Toldos RSRH makes many insightful comments on how one should
raise children. He expanded on this topic in his essay Lessons from Jacob
and Esav that is at<br><br>
<a href="http://www.stevens.edu/golem/llevine/rsrh/lessons_jacob_esau_col_vii.pdf" eudora="autourl">
http://www.stevens.edu/golem/llevine/rsrh/lessons_jacob_esau_col_vii.pdf</a>
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In part he wrote<br><br>
<font size=3><i>Down to our present day we have been able to observe the
disastrous consequences of a one-sided approach to the unique task of
being a Jew. Many a son of a pious talmid chacham has been totally lost
to Judaism because his father insisted on training him to become a talmid
chacham without considering whether his personality and inclinations
truly lay in that direction. Thus he is exposed to Jewish life in only
one context: that of a quiet existence of study and meditation for which
he has neither talent nor desire. What attracts him instead is the busy,
colorful life of the world outside. But as a result of the narrow view of
life in which he has been trained he gets the impression that in order to
participate in the active, variegated life for which he yearns, he must
give up his mission as a Jew. He consequently abandons his Judaism in
order to fling himself into the maelstrom of excitement and temptations
offered by the world outside.<br><br>
The story of such an individual might end quite differently if only,
instead of forcing him into the mold of a talmid chacham, his father
would raise him from the very beginning to become a man of the world who,
at the same time, is faithful to his duties as a Jew; if only that father
would teach this son that the activities of the world outside, too, have
their place in God's plan, that it is possible to preserve and to
demonstrate one's complete loyalty to Judaism even as a sophisticated man
of the world. He should make his son understand that, as a matter of
fact, many, if not perhaps the most important, aspects of Jewish living
are intended primarily to be practiced amidst the conditions and
aspirations of everyday life, in the midst of the world and not in
isolation from it. He should make his son understand that the Taryag
Mitzvos are not meant to be observed in the klaus [Judeo-German
equivalent for a small synagogue. (Ed.)] or in the beth hamidrash but
precisely in the practical life of the farmer or the public-spirited
citizen. If only that father would make it clear to his son that the
spirit and the happiness of Judaism are just as accessible to a Zevulun
"in the world outside" as they are to an Issachar "in the
tents,"who knows whether that son might not stand by his father's
deathbed and gently close his father's eyes as a loyal, pious
Jew?<br><br>
</i>I believe that the reason why the Slabodka Yeshiva produced so many
gedolim is because the Alter did not take a "cookie cutter"
approach to how he educated his talmidim. He let each talmud develop in a
manner consistent with his unique strengths. Sadly, I do not see this
approach being taken often enough today in Chinuch. As Rabbiner
Hirsch points out, the attempt to educate all in the same manner is bound
to lead to failure in many instances. <br><br>
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