<html>
<body>
<font size=3>The following is from today's email from
<a href="http://jewishvalues.us/Welcome.html%A0%A0" eudora="autourl">
http://jewishvalues.us/Welcome.html </a> Daily Hilchos Bein Adom
L'Chavero<br><br>
While all agree that there is a <i>mitzvah </i>to dance
<i>before<br><br>
</i>the <i>kallah</i>, there are different <i>minhagim
</i>regarding<br><br>
a male relative or Rabbi dancing (“<i>mitzvah tantz</i>”)
<i>with<br><br>
</i>the <i>kallah </i> with the separation of a handkerchief,
of<br><br>
course in order to endear her to the <i>chassan</i>. According to some
opinions<br><br>
it is prohibited to do so, and a <i>talmid chacham </i>should be
stringent<br><br>
and refrain. In communities where this is the norm and the
intentions<br><br>
of those participating are <i>lesheim Shamayim</i>, one should not
protest the<br><br>
<i>minhag</i>, but where it is not the accepted <i>minhag</i>, such
dancing is forbidden.<br><br>
In any case, the <i>poskim </i>prohibit men gazing at the
<i>kallah.<br><br>
</i>At wedding celebrations we should be careful to ensure
complete<br><br>
separation between men and women, especially during the dancing.
If,<br><br>
<i>chas veshalom</i>, there is any mixing between boys and girls at the
time of<br><br>
dancing, many <i>issurim </i>are violated, including: “<i>Lo sikrevu …
</i> Do not<br><br>
approach …” (<i>Vayikra </i>18); “<i>Lo sasuru … </i> Do not turn after
your eyes”<br><br>
(<i>Bamidbar </i>15); and “<i>Venishmarta … </i> Keep away from all evil
thoughts”<br><br>
(<i>Devarim </i>23). In fact, if men and women sit together during the
wedding<br><br>
meal, the meal loses its designation as a <i>seudas mitzvah</i>, and we
do<br><br>
not add the <i>brachah </i>of <i>Shehasimchah bime’ono </i>with the
<i>bentching</i>, since<br><br>
Torah obligations are likely to be violated at such a gathering.
Whoever<br><br>
is in a position to influence the <i>baalei simchah </i>should do
whatever is in<br><br>
his power to prevent this practice.<br><br>
When a <i>sheva brachos </i>takes place in a private home, with the
participation<br><br>
of only close family, in some places the custom is for men and<br><br>
women to sit separately in the same room, without a <i>mechitzah
</i>separating<br><br>
them, and still say the <i>brachah </i>of <i>Shehasimchah bime’ono</i>.
However,<br><br>
if there are young men or women from outside the family present,
such<br><br>
as friends of the <i>chassan </i>and <i>kallah</i>, then there should
certainly be a<br><br>
<i>mechitzah</i>. (<i>Mishpetei Hashalom </i>16:12–13)<br><br>
<br>
</font></body>
<br>
</html>