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<font size=3>At 02:26 PM 11/2/2009, Micha wrote:<br>
<blockquote type=cite class=cite cite="">Hilkhos Aveilus are wonderful
that way. They remove from the aveil the<br>
decision of what is "enough" or "appropriate" to do
for their parent's<br>
memory by giving him standard to follow.</blockquote><br>
I have, unfortunately, sat shiva 4 times - once for each of my parents,
once for a son, and once for my brother, so I have some experience with
this issue. <br><br>
If you look as the poskim when it comes to this topic, it seems that
there is almost an opinion to back whatever you decide to do. For
example, some say you can go to a Kiddush on Shabbos, others say you
cannot, etc. There are different minhogim for virtually everything. Just
have a look at Mourning in Halacha. <br><br>
Everyone will tell you that you say kaddish for 11 months. Yet, IIRC,
Mourning in Halacha says that a son of the Chasam Sofer said kaddish for
him for 11 months and 3 weeks. <br><br>
So I really do not see how, "They remove from the aveil the
decision of what is 'enough' or 'appropriate' to do for their parent's
memory by giving him standard(s) to follow."<br>
<x-sigsep><p></x-sigsep>
Yitzchok Levine</font></body>
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