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<DIV>I was somewhat behind on my Avodah reading and thus had the
opportunity to read the entire thread (to date) about children at a parent's
wedding, and my reaction, after reading all the posts was, in typical Jewish
fashion, a question: why should there be any minhag at all? There are so
many differing factors that are relevant in trying to do the best thing for both
the children and the marrying couple; e.g., the age of the children, the
circumstances of the termination of the first marriage, the relationship of the
children to the first spouse (if still alive), the relationship of the children
to the new spouse and, I'm sure, many other factors that I haven't thought
of. Therefore, since we're talking minhag and not halacha, why should
there be any general minhag? Wouldn't it be better if the
decision is based on what best for the members of this particular
family? And why shouldn't that decision be made the way most non-halachic
decisions (e.g., should someone take a particular job, move to a particular
community, vote for a particular candidate, root for a particular baseball
team -- it is World Series time -- etc.) are made; that is, ask advice
from a wise relative, friend or professional (like a rabbi or a psychologist),
think carefully about the relevant factors, consider seriously the advice that
was given, and then act like an adult and take responsibility and make a
decision?</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Joseph Kaplan</DIV></BODY></HTML>