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<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>From: Eli Turkel <A
href="mailto:eliturkel@gmail.com">eliturkel@gmail.com</A><BR><BR>A relative of
mine is getting married for a second time after a divorce.<BR>One rabbi advised
the grown children not to attend the chupah ceremony but only<BR>come to the
dinner afterwards<BR><BR>Is this custom mentioned by
poskim?<BR><BR><BR></FONT></DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent"
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<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>>>>>></FONT></DIV>
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<DIV>When my husband asked him this question, R' Yirmiyahu Aloy zt'l, who
was a Dayan on the Bes Din in Johannesburg (and my husband's uncle), told
my husband that in Europe children /never/ went to their parents'
weddings.</DIV>
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<DIV>(btw when my husband further asked him if it made a difference whether
the parents were widowed or divorced, he said, "Divorced? Who ever got
divorced?")</DIV>
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<DIV>Children "fashter" the simcha because in their hearts they are
never wholeheartedly besimcha to see one parent marrying another partner,
whether the other parent died or was "lost" because of divorce. To
see a parent re-marrying causes a child tza'ar (even an adult child).
The tza'ar the child feels, however slight, puts a chill on the simcha. I
don't want to say that a child might cause an ayin hara at his parent's wedding
but maybe something like that.</DIV>
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<DIV><FONT lang=0 face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"><BR><B>--Toby Katz<BR>==========<BR></B></FONT></DIV></DIV>
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