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<DIV> In the United States, the general custom I observed at
religious funerals was to have <U>all</U> family members (male and female) go
through the shura together which was made up of men and women. At my first
funeral in Israel ca 1974, I noted that the Chevra Kadisha instructed only the
men to make a shura for only the male mourners. I asked the head of the
Chevra Kadisha and he indicated that that's what is found in Rav
Tackatchinsky's Gesher haChaim. Indeed, Rav Tuckachinsky indicates
that that was Minhag Eretz Yisrael, but he also notes that women don't go to
Funerals at all (Based on a Zohar in Pekudai that the Satan is Meraked).
Needless to say, the women mourners of our Anglo Saxon community in Rehovot
were very hurt and offended, especially since this is not a halakhic issue and
since all knew that the Minhag in the Galut was otherwise.</DIV>
<DIV> I then consulted with Rav Simcha Kook. On the one hand,
he didn't want to contravene the Minhag of the Chevra Kadisha; on the other
hand, he understood that the women needed the communal Nihum Aveilum. We
agreed that the men would make a shura for the men and the women for the
women. It took a few times for me to teach the women of our community what
to do and what to say, but it now occurs without my intervention. When
someone is buried at Eretz haChaim Cemetery near Beit Shemesh, the same happens.
The head of the Chevra Kaddisha makes his announcement (Men for men), and
- if the family wants it - we make sure there is women's shura for the women.
</DIV>
<DIV> At Eretz haChaim Cemetery they also don't have women
Eulogizing. I spoke openly with the head of the Chevra Kaddisha and he indicated
that after they leave, "we can do as we like." So I arrange for the
women to speak at the kever then. Recently, however, I was at a funeral at
Eretz haChaim where a daughter did eulogize her father before the Kevurah. I
spoke again with the head of the Chevra Kaddisha and he indicated that they
prefer that women not Eulogize - but if the family insists they won't make a
scene.</DIV></DIV>
<DIV><BR>--------------------------------------------------------<BR>Dr. Aryeh
A. Frimer<BR>Chemistry Dept., Bar-Ilan University<BR>Ramat Gan 52900,
ISRAEL<BR>E-mail: <A
href="mailto:FrimeA@mail.biu.ac.il">FrimeA@mail.biu.ac.il</A><BR></DIV>
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