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<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>From: Micha Berger <A
href="mailto:micha@aishdas.org">micha@aishdas.org</A><BR></FONT></DIV>
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<DIV><BR>>>Li nir'eh, though, the taqanah was about something else. Not
that we<BR>necessarily wanted to assimilate Xian marriage ethos, but in
reflection<BR>of the fact that we already did. IOW, once the norm and
expectation was<BR>to have a monogynous marriage, Rabbeinu Gershom might have
felt that the<BR>few violations still left were cruel to the wife who came to be
expect /<BR>assume exclusivity.<BR><BR>This portrays the change as being a
change in din reflecting a change<BR>in realia, rather than changing the din to
reflect a change in desired<BR>morality. >></DIV>
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<DIV>>>>>></DIV>
<DIV>There was always in Torah an implicit understanding that monogamy was the
norm, the ideal, and that polygamy was the exception or the fall from the
ideal. One wife was created for Adam. Noach and his sons each took one
wife into the teivah. Lemach had two wives, about which Rashi comments
with a distinct tone of disapproval, "That's how the people of the Dor Hamabul
behaved, they would have two wives, one for procreation and one for sexual
pleasure. [my paraphrase] The one for pleasure would take potions to make her
sterile, would be dressed up like a bride, feted and cosseted, while the mother
of his children would be neglected and scorned and left alone like a
widow."</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Each of the Avos had one predestined soul mate. Yitzchak, the olah
temimah, lived at the highest level of spirituality and never took a second
wife, even when his wife proved infertile. The relationship between Sarah
and Hagar was fraught, as was the relationship between Rochel and Leah -- even
though in each of those cases the "real" wife, the real zivug, was instrumental
in enabling her husband to marry the second woman. Chana and Peninah is
another famous example of a strained relationship between two co-wives.
The very word for a co-wife in Hebrew, "tzarah", tells you exactly how it
feels to a woman to have a co-wife.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>It wasn't in the Middle Ages that Jews first discovered the drawbacks to
polygamy. It was there in the Torah all along. Permitted but
recognized as far from ideal.</FONT></DIV></DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=0 face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"><B><BR></B><BR><B>--Toby
Katz<BR>=============<BR><BR></B><BR></FONT></DIV></FONT><BR><BR><BR><DIV CLASS="aol_ad_footer" ID="4e092ab0e9f1fbedb6593ebe22154d8b"><FONT style="color: black; font: normal 10pt ARIAL, SAN-SERIF;"><HR style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px">Plan your next getaway with AOL Travel. <a href="http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212416248x1200771803/aol?redir=http://travel.aol.com/discount-travel?ncid=emlcntustrav00000001">Check out Today's Hot 5 Travel Deals!</a></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>