<html><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><div><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i>"You are Children to HaShem your God..." </i>[Deut. 14:1]</span><br></strong></div><div>The Nesivos Shalom, from the Rebbe R' Shalom Berzovsky of Slonim, calls these words the foundation of Judaism -- to recognize that regardless of our situation, </div><div>we are still God's children.</div><div> </div><div>A child never stops being his or her parent's child. The Rebbe, R' Mordechai of Chernobyl, once had a guest at his table who had committed a great sin, and was </div><div>moaning and sighing about the terrible thing which he had done. The Rebbe said that if someone is in that situation, and does not realize that God accepts his sighs </div><div>and moans, then he is also a denier of God, meaning that he must realize regardless of his situation, he remains God's child and God wants him back.The Jewish people </div><div>are called "God's children" even if they are sinning and not doing the will of God.</div><div><div><br></div><div>The Sforno in his commentary explains, "It is not appropriate to show extreme worry and pain for any relative or friend who passes away, when there is a <br>relative Who is of <u>greater</u> importance, value, and Who is the basis of all good (<u><strong>that</strong></u> being the Almighty)".</div><div> </div><div>Therefore Moshe says to the Jewish people, "<strong><u>You are God's Children</u></strong>" to indicate that He is our eternal Father and there is no basis to worry and grieve at an extreme </div><div>level for any deceased. Regardless of who passes away, a Jew is never abandoned just as a father does not abandon his child. Just as a parent loves his child more than </div><div>the child could ever love his parent, the Torah is teaching us that God values us as His Children. If a Jew were to lacerate himself or pull the hair out of his head (known in </div><div>psychiatric terminology as trichotillomania) as a result of a loved one passing away, this behavior would indicate that he believes that he has nowhere to turn and he is in a </div><div>hopeless state, which is an oversight of God's special relationship with him.</div><div> </div><div>It is a basic tenet of Jewish belief that when a person passes away, his spirituality (which is his essence) is eternal. Therefore a person who grieves excessively or for too long</div><div>a period, not only is unaware of God's special relationship, but also hasn't understood the existence of an eternal soul. Thus, it is a negative commandment to express excessive </div><div>grief in this manner. Though this may seem insensitive to some, it actually gives hope, trust, confidence and faith that there is more to come (in a most positive and optimistic sense), </div><div>and thus provides comfort and solace to one who has suffered a loss. We must understand that death is not final. It only severs a relationship temporarily and we are assured that</div><div>at some point in the future, it will be reignited and we will be reunited.</div><div><br></div><div>ri</div><div><br></div></div></body></html>