<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=UTF-8">
<META content="MSHTML 6.00.2800.1609" name=GENERATOR></HEAD>
<BODY id=role_body style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #000000; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"
bottomMargin=7 leftMargin=7 topMargin=7 rightMargin=7><FONT id=role_document
face=Arial color=#000000 size=2>
<DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>From: "Rich, Joel" <JRich@sibson.com><BR>>>I never really
thought about this before, but if it is our understanding<BR>that each man only
had one "zivug rishon", polygamy implies some women<BR>will end up in this
Leah role; "destined" to be second fiddle? And when<BR>the gemara says
that before birth the bat kol says bat ploni lploni,<BR>does that include those
who are destined not to be a "true zivug"?<<<BR><BR>KT<BR>Joel
Rich<BR></FONT></DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV></DIV>
<DIV>>>>><BR>I don't know if there's any source that discusses this
but I have always assumed that when the bas kol says "Bas Ploni lePloni" that
each Ploni gets only one designated Bas Ploni. As for the possibility
of a woman ending up with a husband who is someone other than her
designated Ploni -- we know that that is possible from the very fact that Leah
was designated for Esav but ended up with Yakov. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Each of the Avos had one "main" wife or real wife. For Avraham it was
obviously Sarah. For Yakov, it was Rochel. Dovid Hamelech had many
wives but it seems that his "true" designated zivug was Batsheva -- who was
already married to someone else when Dovid met her, so it seems she initially
married a man who was not her "true" zivug.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Luckily for us (or not) we can't hear the bas kol so we just have to muddle
through, making the best choices we can with the information we have. I
read recently that each person marries the best-looking and smartest person who
will marry him[her], and thus most marriages end up being between two people of
roughly equal looks and intelligence. The same article (in Time) also said
that most people make their choice within the available pool at the time, and
don't spent their whole life looking to see if there's someone else
around the bend who is just a little bit better looking and just a little bit
smarter (and will still accept them), because if they did do that, they either
would never get married at all or their marriages would be highly unstable and
impermanent. </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=0 face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"><B><BR></B><BR><B>--Toby Katz<BR>=============<BR></FONT><FONT
lang=0 face=Arial color=#000000 size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"></B>President Reagan talked with the Soviets while pushing ahead
with the deployment of Cruise and Pershing missiles in Europe. He spoke softly —
after getting himself a bigger stick. --Mark Steyn</FONT><FONT lang=0
face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"><B><BR></B><BR></FONT></DIV></FONT><BR><BR><BR><DIV><FONT style="color: black; font: normal 10pt ARIAL, SAN-SERIF;"><HR style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px">Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient <A title="http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007" href="http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007" target="_blank">used cars</A>.</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>