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<DIV>In a message dated 7/2/2008, jkaplan@tenzerlunin.com writes:</DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE
style="PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: blue 2px solid"><FONT
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>>>I'm not sure I understand what's the bottom line. Is it
that you are <BR>wrong in finding a 12-year-old girl marrying a
man of 40 or<BR>50 is quite distasteful and you should work on changing
your tastes <BR>so you will find it perfectly ok? Or is it ok to
think something the <BR>Torah permits, indeed even demands, is
distasteful?<<<BR><BR>Joseph Kaplan<BR></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV>
<DIV></DIV></DIV>
<DIV>>>>>><BR>That is quite a fair question. In the case of
the Torah forbidding what current society permits, one must certainly not accept
as "normal" or "neutral" what the Torah forbids. In the case of the Torah
permitting, or even requiring, what one finds personally distasteful -- I don't
know if you have an obligation to adjust your personal preferences. If,
for example, you are a vegetarian and find the very thought of meat repulsive --
are you obligated to work on yourself and change your personal tastes, knowing
that when the Bais Hamikdash is rebuilt, you will have to eat the Korban
Pesach? I don't think so -- I think you are still allowed to say, "I don't
like meat" -- but must admit I have no sources. (You'll still have to eat
the Korban Pesach, but you won't have to enjoy it.)</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>In the case of marriage, the halacha is clear that a woman is never married
against her will, so any 12-year-old girl who does not want to marry the Kohen
Gadol -- does not have to. She is under no compulsion to change her
feelings. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>What about the rest of us? Are we obligated to adjust our mental
furniture so that marriage between a child and a middle-aged man no longer seems
distasteful? I don't know. It really is a good question. I
must admit that I have never found the picture of three-year-old Rivkah marrying
40-year-old Yitzchak to be exactly romantically satisfying, either. Even
allowing for the fact that the marriage was not consummated until she matured,
it's not so appealing. When I found out that the Rashbam says Rivkah was
14, not 3, when she got married -- I did feel better.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>One thing you do see with this big difference in ages -- by the time
they've been married 20 years or more, the disparity in their ages no longer
seems so glaring. When Avimelech sees them from his window, they are
interacting like any married couple. They also talk to each other (about
Esav's wives, whom they both detest) like any married couple. </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=0 face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"><B><BR></B><BR><B>--Toby Katz<BR>=============<BR></FONT><FONT
lang=0 face=Arial color=#000000 size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"></B>President Reagan talked with the Soviets while pushing ahead
with the deployment of Cruise and Pershing missiles in Europe. He spoke softly —
after getting himself a bigger stick. --Mark Steyn</FONT><FONT lang=0
face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"><B><BR></B><BR></FONT></DIV></FONT><BR><BR><BR><DIV><FONT style="color: black; font: normal 10pt ARIAL, SAN-SERIF;"><HR style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px">Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient <A title="http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007" href="http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007" target="_blank">used cars</A>.</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>