<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII">
<META content="MSHTML 6.00.2800.1609" name=GENERATOR></HEAD>
<BODY id=role_body style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #000000; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"
bottomMargin=7 leftMargin=7 topMargin=7 rightMargin=7><FONT id=role_document
face=Arial color=#000000 size=2>
<DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>>>I was told to not participate in the actual shoveling at my
father's <BR>levayah. I was very moved by the fact that, although most of
the people <BR>there were not frum and were unused to filling in the grave
themselves, <BR>they all willingly finished the job.
[--RDE]<<<BR></FONT></DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent"
face=Arial color=#000000 size=2></FONT></DIV><FONT
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>>>>>></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>I have a question: Is it a halacha or a minhag that only Jews --
and not the cemetery workers -- cover the casket with the first shovelfuls of
earth?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>Also, is it right or wrong or a matter of differing
minhagim that women shovel earth into the grave?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>What if there are no Jewish men present? </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>Strangely, I actually was once at a levaya of a man who passed away here
in Florida, and the only people present were myself, the niftar's daughter
(who did not live in Florida and did not know anyone else here), and
several funeral home workers. I did not know what to do and would
like to hear opinions here as to what we should have done.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" face=Arial color=#000000
size=2>After the levaya I brought my friend to my home, where she sat shiva for
a few hours and I arranged for a minyan in my house for mincha, and then she
flew back to her own home town for the rest of shiva. I don't know whether
any of that -- sitting shiva in my home and having a minyan -- was necessary or
even desirable, but since she had just buried her father and was all alone
here, I thought that something should be done for her that might bring her
comfort.</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV></FONT>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=0 face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="10"><BR><B>--Toby
Katz<BR>=============<BR></B><BR></FONT></DIV></FONT><BR><BR><BR><DIV><FONT style="color: black; font: normal 10pt ARIAL, SAN-SERIF;"><HR style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px">Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? <A title="http://food.aol.com/dinner-tonight?NCID=aolfod00030000000001" href="http://food.aol.com/dinner-tonight?NCID=aolfod00030000000001" target="_blank">Get new twists on family favorites at AOL Food</A>.</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>