R' Micha Berger wrote:
> I am not sure I agree with this assumption that ahavah is
> more associated with an assei, and yir'ah with a lav. For
> example, I'm more cautious with my wife's feelings than
> with someone I care less about. Is that ahavah or yir'ah?

It seems generally accepted that to translate yir'ah as "fear" is 
simply wrong. Many prefer to translate it as "awe", but my feeling is 
that I don't use that word often enough to have a good handle on what 
it means. Some have suggested "respect", which I like.

But for the current discussion, I'd like to quote someone (sorry I've 
forgotten who) who said that "Yir'as HaShem" is not fear of HaShem 
Himself, but that it refers to a fear of *hurting His feelings* 
(kavyachol).

According to this idea, I would think that yir'ah is most certainly 
associated with lavin. Yirah is my fear of stepping over the line and 
doing something that would offend Him. This ties in closely to RMB's 
comment about being cautious with his wife's feelings. Is there a 
Chazal anywhere which says that it is wrong for a husband to have 
yirah towards his wife? (I hope not.)

Akiva Miller