[Avodah] amen

[Akiva Miller]

.
R' Joel Rich asked:
> I put together a shiur on when to answer amen when aveilim
> are saying kaddish at different speeds. ... especially when
> it’s so asynchronous that it’s not even toch kdei dibbur?
> If you only answer once, is it the first or last? What about
> if toch kdei – answer the first or the last?

I'll answer the last question first, because I think it is so simple: If
the first and last are within Toch Kdei Dibbur of each other, then halacha
considers them to be simultaneous, and so one answers only once, and it
doesn't matter which you're closer to.

When the speeds are very different, it is more complicated. Since they are
not said simultaneously, it seems to me very simple that, l'halacha, one
ought to respond to both of them. But the l'maaseh is more complicated,
because the cacophony can make it very difficult to be aware of the
individual recitations.

(Currently, I am saying Kaddish for a cousin, so my decision is not who I
should respond to, but who I should try to match speeds with, and I always
opt for the slowest. My reasoning is that *everyone* should match speeds
with the slowest, because that is within everyone's ability, whereas many
people are simply incapable of keeping up with the speedsters. [This
consideration is totally separate from the idea that everyone ought to say
Kaddish calmly and deliberately.])

Akiva Miller
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