[Avodah] Tochachah - R Lord Jonathan Sacks's example

[Micha Berger]

>From Henry Mountbatten-Windsor's recent book, Spare. The context: after
he infamously dressed up at a costume party like a Nazi, his father,
HRM Charles III (the then-future king), forced him to go visit Rabbi
Lord Jonathan Sacks zt"l. This was his description of the encounter.

I am sharing on Avodah to note what constructive rebuke, tokhachah,
looks like:

"Father sent me to a holy man. 51 years old. Bearded, bespectacled,
with a face with deep wrinkles and dark, intelligent eyes.... He was
Britain's chief rabbi, that's all I was told. But I immediately saw
that he was much more. A distinguished scholar, a religious philosopher,
a prolific writer with more than two dozen books to his name, he spent
many of his days staring out of windows and pondering the root causes
of sorrow, evil, and hatred.

"He didn't mince words. He condemned my actions. It's not that he
was unkind, but it had to be done. He also put my stupidity in a
historical context. He talked about the six million, the people who were
destroyed. Jews, Poles, dissidents, intellectuals, children, babies,
Old men who turned to ash and smoke a few short decades ago.

"I arrived at his house full of shame, but afterwards I felt something
else, bottomless self-loathing. But that was not the rabbi's goal. It
was certainly not how he wanted me to leave him.

"He urged me not to be devastated by my mistake, but to be motivated. He
assured me that people do stupid things, say stupid things, but that
should not be their inner nature. He said I showed that my true nature
when I asked to atone for the act and I'm looking for forgiveness. He
gave me grace. He's a really wise man. He told me to raise my head,
get out, and use this experience to make the world better."

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger                 The same boiling water
http://www.aishdas.org/asp   that softens the potato, hardens the egg.
Author: Widen Your Tent      It's not about the circumstance,
- https://amzn.to/2JRxnDF    but rather what you are made of.