[Avodah] Keeping Well Away From Sheker

[Micha Berger]

On Sun, Feb 26, 2023 at 06:42:59PM -0600, Jay F. Shachter via Avodah wrote:
>> ... So this may be more related to His report to Avraham about why
>> Sarah laughed than a usual case of midevar sheqer.

> Can people please stop misusing this example, once and for all?  I am
> sick of the way liars always trot this one out, whenever they want to
> justify one of their lies.  Here's what's wrong with it:

> 1. God didn't lie.  Genesis 18:12 tells us that Sarah laughed
>    inwardly, to say "axarey blothiy haitha liy `edna, vadoniy zaqen".
>    Clearly the Torah is reporting Sarah's thoughts...
...
> 2. God does a lot of things that we're not allowed to do.  God sends
>    earthquakes to Turkey that kill fifty thousand people....

Yevamos 65b quotes R Ila'a besheim R Elazar beR' Shimon that it is
proper leshanos in a matter that would bring peace, quoting Bereishis
50:16-17, where the brothers make up a tzavah from Yaaqov tp Yoseif that
he never made.

Devei R Yishma'el prove this comclusiom from our pasuq.

The gemara itself says Hashem misrepresented the truth, albeit not
oitroght lie, for the sake of peace. And holds it up as an example for
us to follow.

(See also Y-mi Pe'ah 4b.)

> So please put that one to rest, once and for all.

>> .... Midevar sheqer tirchaq has loopholes for ... milaiyhu (saying
>> you don't know something you do, for anavah), bepuriah (because
>> tashmish hamitah is private) and be'ushpiza (to protect a host from
>> being inundated).  (C.f. Yeavmos 63b, BM 23b-24a)

> Where do you find this brought down as halakha?

It is cited lehalakhah at CM 262:12.

Rav Ovadiah has a teshuvah about this in Yabia Omer. And Rav Moshe
writes about how the 13 middos put chessed before emes for a reason.
Unfortunately, my search abibities didn't help me find either. But
finding the gemara in the SA suffices to answer your question.

Again, we are not talking about outright lying, but telling half the
story, telling the truth in a way that eill likely be taken in a different
way, etc... Still, peace justifies these forms of dishonesty. Lehalakhah.

So, if your wife asks you if that dress makes her look fat, breathe easy.
You are not obligated to say "yes".

    "Given the choice, when it came to interpersonal relations the sages
    valued peace over truth, not least because truth can flourish in peace
    while it is often the first casualty in war.
	    - R Lord Jonathan Sack zt"l <https://outorah.org/p/22794>

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger                 Man is a drop of intellect drowning in a sea
http://www.aishdas.org/asp   of instincts.
Author: Widen Your Tent                            - Rav Yisrael Salanter
- https://amzn.to/2JRxnDF