[Avodah] Yehudah Tamar

[Rabbi Meir G. Rabi]

Thank you for appreciating my humour, Rabbi Lampel, sometimes it goes
straight through to the keeper - if you know cricket you will know what I
mean.

Probably this is not a case of the Beis DIn [as per the Maharam Shif, thank
you Rabbi Lampel] but of the court of public opinion - there would be
insufficient evidence to prove Y is the father but enough dirt to cause
character assassination, probably lifelong. And perhaps the main issue was
his deceiving T and holding her hostage - is there any suggestion in Chazal
that he was wrong on this count or is there no need to say the obvious?
Therefore, the reference from the Abarbenel, thank you Rabbi Lampel, seems
a little jarring - even if he feared she was the cause of the death of his
first two sons, was it right to hold T hostage and deceive her?

It seems that sometimes [often] people only realise and reach their
potential when put to the test, when put under pressure - there is the
celebrated case of the Yid who agreed to be the first to enter and plunder
the Beis HaMikdash with the promise that he could take and keep WHATEVER he
wanted when the goyim themselves were too terrified to enter and defile
that holy place.

He came staggering out with the Menorah - which the lowlife immediately
said - we did not mean THAT, oh no that is something for a royal household,
for a king, you go back and take something else - and this same Yid who
only moments earlier managed to violate the sanctity and concede the
victory of HKBHs enemies, refused to re-enter and was martyred - Yesh Kono
Olamo BeShaA Achas!

Perhaps we might consider that Y also failed to recognise and realise his
greatness until T set him up and he declared Tzadka MiMeni.

As for T relying on his integrity to save her life - that is prohibited in
Halacha. Not only for her to herself but also for her to place Y in such a
terrible position - Lifney Iveir.

Which also seems to fit into Chazals understanding that she LOST the
passport and drivers licence - because she fully intended to submit them to
Y and was certain that he would either marry her himself or to Sheilo or
send her away with a chaperone to either return with husband or with an
adopted baby or not return at all.

When she lost them she had no option - could not escape as a lone
unprotected woman, so she just awaited her fate recognising that the lost
passport was Min HaShamayim - as was her falling pregnant, even though she
engineered the setup.

As to Rabbi Lampels query - what is the intent within T words, Haker Ess
BoraAcha VeAl Tisbayeish MiBasar VeDam perhaps the meaning is don not just
DO the right thing, BE PROUD of doing the right thing - be proud when
serving HKBH particularly when it is difficult.

Halachah actually requires [yes yes, I know some opinions disagree - but I
do not get it, why in all other matters do we pursue every possible
opinion, certainly the major ones, but in matters such as these we take the
easy escape route??] that one PUBLICLY declare their transgressions that
are interpersonal, especially when the injury was of a public nature - the
purpose is not to shame but to ELEVATE. You are a human, humans sin; but
only angelic Gd fearing people have the perspective that allows them to
realise that when they publicly admit they are sanctifying HKBHs reputation.

Rabbi Lampel, can you please explain your comment - had T told Y BEFORE she
was noticeably pregnant, that would have destroyed their relationship - why
was it different when she made the revelation, privately, AFTER it was
common knowledge. If anything he would have MORE DISTRESSED that she did
NOT disclose it earlier when he would have had a chance to remain anonymous.

Unless, he would NOT BELIEVE that she was pregnant. Butin that case he
could at least send her away with a chaperone or go away with her and
Sheilo for an extended period.

Furthermore, and indeed the essence of our Q - she could have, SHOULD have,
conveyed that message to him even without the passport - she certainly knew
enough detail to convince him that her story was true. She was NOT
DELIBERATELY trying to publicly out T, as she handed over the evidence to
Y. So what was her plan?

Also, Rabbi Lampel, please explain because I dont follow your train of
thought, why you write near the end of your post, that - had Y chosen to
cover up his failure to marry T either to Sheilah or himself, would strip
Tamar of her dignity and life, but it would leave his own public image
unscathed. Apparently, that Yetzer Hara to not admit to his mistakes and
failure was very, very, strong.
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