[Avodah] Tamar Not Embarrassing Yehuda

[Brent Kaufman]

>>The pesukim do not say that any of the remarks of Tamar or Yehudah were
made publicly! They say that Tamar ''SENT THE MESSAGE'' to Yehudah.

Wow. I also didn't notice this until this year, and it changed my view on
the
incident. However, Why wouldn't Yehudah need to give a reason for halting
the din? Also, was it only that she remained זקוק ליבום, to the family of
Yaakov
and Yehuda and being Shem's daughter, that made her guilty? If not, she
wasn't required to remain chaste, correct? But, even still, isn't this only
according
to the opinion of the Ramban, who says that this is considered Yibum,
because
it's any close relative that would receive ירושה from her husband that can
be
מיבם her? Whereas, all (or most) mefarshim say that a father isn't מיבם a
daughter-in-law
and thus, to them, his admission would only implicate them both to acting
incorrectly?

I've also been bothered by part of this story that when Chazal, and
therefore everyone
else, looks at what Onein did, they only point out the issur of הוצאת ז"ל
that bothers
everyone. Whereas every since I was younger, couldn't believe that that was
why he
was considered evil, but what I see, everytime I read it, is a brothers
selfishness to
not give his own brother this holy gift (or even if it's not that holy, but
it is still the
common custom of kindness and honoring one's dead brother), which is the
actual
evil going on here? But was this a one time incident, for which HKB"H
killed him? Since
does H' enact din right away?

P.S. Another problem I've had is the explanation of the Abarnanel on this,
and why
Yehudah went with Tamar, was because he was lonely after losing his wife.
That
doesn't seem to follow the traditional way to explain the big failings of
our 'אבותינו הקד.

thank you all, and חנוכה שמח לכל
Chaimbaruch Kaufman
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