[Avodah] Cheshbon haNefesh and Knowing Yourself

[Micha Berger]

Generally, I start Elul determined to restart my cheshbon hanefesh,
my personal "accounting of the soul" where I write something about
how I reacted to the events of the day, focusing on what I should be
doing more of, what less of, which middos I could use more or less of.
Kind of like a diary, but not of the events that happen to me, but of
what happens in my nefesh due to those events.

But the "Relationshipful Meaning" chaburah at Zelmele's Kloiz
<http://thekloiz.aishdas.org> recently learned Olam haYedidus by R'
Shlomo Wolbe zt"l. Which frames all of Torah as being about building a
"World of Affection" (as per the title).

It concludes with a discussion of zarus (alienation) and its extreme form
-- akhzarus (cruelty), or as RSW notes that R Hirsch puts it akh+zarus
(literally: nothing but alienation). And how we manage to get ourselves
alienated from each other on a national level, with the people who
should be our loved ones, friends and peers, alienation from our Creator,
and even from ourselves.

One of the beauties of Shabbos is Mah Yedidus Menuchaseikh -- how much
Yedidus inheres in your rest. A day to reestablish Yedidus with G-d,
with family, and with ourselves. R Wolbe laments how we try so hard to
busy ourselves every moment that we have become strangers to ourselves.

And it struck me, even before the cheshbon hanefesh helps me decide
what I think I should be focusing on this year, it's a moment of quiet
self-reflection. And for that alone, connecting with myself, it's
of value.


:-)BBii!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger                 Brains to the lazy
http://www.aishdas.org/asp   are like a torch to the blind --
Author: Widen Your Tent      a useless burden.
- https://amzn.to/2JRxnDF               - Bechinas haOlam