[Avodah] Wedding Attendance During Your Part of Sefira

[Prof. L. Levine]

The following is from today's OU Kosher Halacha Yomis


Q. My minhag is to maintain the customs of mourning after Lag B’Omer (commonly known as the second half of Sefira). I was invited to a wedding on Lag B’Omer, but the music and dancing will continue after nightfall. Am I permitted to continue to participate in the dancing? Similarly, may I attend a wedding that is scheduled during the latter days of the Sefira?

A. Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt’l (Igeros Moshe OC 1:159) writes that the minhagim of Sefira are overridden by the mitzvah to be misameyach (bring joy to) the chasan and kallah. He writes that it appears that one can participate at a wedding, even if it took place inappropriately during Sefira. Although it is forbidden to arrange a wedding during certain days of the Sefira, it is permissible to dance and celebrate once the couple is married. Rav Moshe proves this from a ruling of the Shulchan Aruch (OC 493:1). Shulchan Aruch writes that one is forbidden to get married between Pesach and Lag B’Omer, but if one did, we do not penalize him. Rav Moshe argues that if no one is permitted to celebrate with the couple, that would be an exceptionally severe punishment. It follows that if the marriage was performed in accordance with halacha, those who have a different minhag may certainly dance and celebrate together with the chasan and kallah. Rav Belsky, zt”l (Shulchan Halevi 13:7) pointed out that one who keeps the second half of Sefira should not join in the dancing unless the chasan and kallah are present, since the allowance to participate is based on bringing joy to the bride and groom.

There was a time when the Kallah was brought to the men's side of the hall, she sat down next to her Chasan, and men danced in front of them.  In many circles this is no longer done today.

The above says, "those who have a different minhag may certainly dance and celebrate together with the chasan and kallah."  This does not happen if the chason  and kallah remain on their sides of the mechitzah throughout the entire wedding.  Dare one suggest that not having the kallah come to the men's side of hall is not proper?

YL
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