[Avodah] avel showering Friday

[Jay F. Shachter]

> 
> Does anyone know a source for the (common) belief that showering is
> ok for an avel on Friday as prep for Shabbos?
> 

I think you need to clarify this common belief, before you ask the
question.

The belief is not -- at least, I hope it is not -- that you may shower
on Friday, to prepare for Shabbath, for yourself.  Rather, the belief
is that public aveluth, on Shabbath, spoils the mood, for others.  If
other people can notice that you have not showered, then your aveluth
is intruding into the public space.  If you smell like roses, the
belief is not -- at least, I hope it is not -- that you may
nevertheless shower because you feel better when you do.  It's not
about you.  It is the same logic that would allow you to stay
(according to some opinions) after the xuppa at your daughter's
wedding, if you are in aveluth -- not because you are allowed to
celebrate her wedding, but because your absence would reduce her
celebration.  Of course, this hetter does not apply to weddings where
there is a mexitza between the men and the women, because then your
daughter cannot know that you are there anyway.


                        Jay F. ("Yaakov") Shachter
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