[Avodah] Does "ben" mean "son" or "child"?

Akiva Miller akivagmiller at gmail.com
Wed Feb 20 20:11:05 PST 2019


.
R' Micha Berger wrote:

> My point being.... If the mitzvah is not male-specific, why
> would we think that "vekan haben sho'eil" means son and not
> daughter. In fact, if you have two little ones, and the younger
> is a daughter, it seems to me that: The MC would have the son
> ask Mah Nishtanah, since the girl's chinukh is for a derabbanan.
> Whereas the MB would have the daughter ask since her future
> chiyuv is equal to his.

Your example, which included the word "younger", highlights another
question that's been on my mind:

It seems to be a universal practice that the Mah Nishtanah is given to
the youngest "ben" (however you want to translate it) at the table.
Obviously, we are excluding those who are too young, and those who for
some other reason are incapable of saying it. But does anyone know how
this came to devolve upon the *youngest*?

I think this is a great example of something that is so ingrained in
us that we accept it without question. But the minhag could just as
easily have gone in a different direction. All the children might have
asked together, or it might have gone davka to the *oldest* for any of
several reasons.

The bottom line is that the classic seforim all write it just as RMB
quoted: "vekan haben sho'eil" - THE ben, as if there is only one ben
at the table. Does anyone know of any authorities who say what to do
when there is more than one?

Akiva Miller


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