[Avodah] deprive the minyan of the opportunity to say tachanun

[Akiva Miller]

.
Cantor Wolberg wrote:
> Regarding this very topic, I heard a beautiful vort by I
> believe Rabbi Moshe Kesselman. He taught that when one Jew
> has suffered a loss, then it affects all Jews since we should
> be as one. In the same vein, conversely, when one Jew celebrates
> a simcha, we should all celebrate and feel the joy (not
> necessarily in a literal sense but figuratively speaking. This
> is true achdut and therefore, if there is a chatan at the
> minyan, we purposely don’t say tachanun because we feel his joy.

Thank you for this beautiful thought. It fits well with my suggestion
that we should not gleefully skip Tachanun without at least a quick
announcement to the congregation, explaining to them exactly which
simcha WE are celebrating.

But mentioning "a loss" made me think. There's another
off-the-calendar situation where we skip Tachanun: A Shiva house.

No one would dare suggest that the mourner should leave the shiva
minyan so that the others could say Tachanun. Not only would no one
dare suggest such a thing, but the idea probably wouldn't even occur
to anyone. Why? Because at the shiva house, we are all sad, we are all
sharing in the loss (even if not to the extent of mourning).

But what if we are NOT in the shiva house? My Siddur Otzar Hatefilos,
in Dinei Nefilas Apayim, halacha 7, quotes the Derech Hachayim as
follows: "There's no Nefilas Apayim in the avel's house for the whole
7 days of aveilus, and even at mincha on day 7, and even if the aveil
is a child. But if the avel is in shul, they do say it while the avel
himself does not..."

I do note that the parallel between Chasan and Avel is not exact.
Halacha 9 there says "The minhag is to not do Nefilas Apayim in a
house or shul where there is a chasan..."

I wonder why there is a difference, that - according to the Derech
Hachayim - the shul skips tachanun for a chasan, but does not skip it
for an avel. Perhaps there is some societal difference; in the Derech
Hachayim's day, did the shul community feel the chasan's simcha more
than they felt the avel's loss?

I would love to see what other poskim write on these situations, but I
have to get back to my Pesach prep. For now, let me just point out
that our poskim treat these issues seriously, and our job is to follow
their directions, and not to simply do what feels right to our
unlearned minds.

Akiva Miller