[Avodah] Sedra Toldos - Balance, When Parents Favour One Child

[Rabbi Meir G. Rabi]

Our actions are pretty much prompted by Life's circumstances, we are mostly
provoked to react. We do [many/most] things to counter a perceived
imbalance, an injustice. Perhaps, with this in mind, we can better
understand Yitzchak, Rivkah and Eisav as they are portrayed in this week's
Sedra.

Isaac favoured Eisav, because he was "Tzayid BeFiv", Rivkah favoured YaAkov
[25:28]

We are told why Yitzchak favours Eisav but not why Rivkah favours YaAkov.

Yitzchak favours Eisav because Eisav is a "Tzayid BeFiv" lit. hunted with
his mouth. Rashi explains this as either [or both] - he deceived his father
like a hunter lying in ambush or stalking prey and catching it at a
vulnerable moment, i.e. feeding Yitchak fake news to present himself as
exceedingly Gd fearing; or, he fed Yitzchak tasty food, "Make me the tasty
food I enjoy ... so that I might bless you before I die." [27:4]

But Eisav was not a better cook than Rivkah - "she made him a delicious
dish just as he liked" [27:14] [unless she had him on a healthy food diet
and Eisav was Yitzchak's secret steak supplier]

Eisav loved his father and he loved hunting [25:27]. He desperately sought
his father's approval. He pursued this as he best knew, by hunting and even
by lying. We might even say that he felt as though he was hunting for his
father's love.

Yitzchak understood, he encouraged Eisav to hunt and cook for him. He even
reminded Eisav to take his hunting weapons when he instructs him to hunt
and prepare food before he blesses him - Yitzchak wants Eisav to be engaged
in the hunting and preparation of the food, because it is this engagement
that is their link and best encapsulates his approval of his son Eisav. In
other words, "It's not the food I want, for that I could ask your mother or
you could grab an animal from our flock - it would be much quicker. No, I
want you to be of service to me. Knowing that you have hunted to provide
for me makes me happy and I enjoy the food more."

Eisav knew that his mother was capable of and willing to provide her
husband with all the tasty food he could stomach. He got the message that
it was not food that Yitzchak wanted. Yitzchak was reaching out to Eisav,
knowing how desperately Eisav sought his approval. Eisav learned how to
cook in order to express his love. He even deceived Yitchak, painting
himself as the Gd fearing son in order to win his father's approval.


Best,

Meir G. Rabi

0423 207 837
+61 423 207 837
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