[Avodah] Sheva Berakhos without the couple

[Micha Berger via Avodah]

SA EhE 62:11 says that if the benei hachupah have to divide up into
chaburos, they all make sheva berakhos. Even if the locations are not
open to each other nor is there a common server -- none of the normal
things that combine a zimun. The AhS #37 adds that they each make their
own 7 berakhos.

Does this mean that if a man needs to leave a wedding early, he should
really invest the effort to find 9 others and not just 3, not only
because zimun requires trying, but also because the 10 of you would be
passing up a chance to bentch the chasan & kallah!

To add more weight to the idea, earlier in the siman the AhS discusses
the function of panim chadashos at 7 berakhos. In #23-24 he says that
the Rambam (Berakhos pereq 2) implies that the reason why we need panim
chadashos for 7 berakhos is that the whole thing is to fulfill *their*
chiyuv to bentch the chasan & kallah. As guests of the couple, they have
a chiyuv to give them a berakhah, which is fulfilled at the minimum by
their amein. Whereas if everyone there already fulfilled that obligation,
the berakhos are levatalah.

Then in #35 he gives besheim "rov raboseinu" the usually quoted reason
(at least in my circles) that it's their addition to the simchah that
legitimizes the berakhah. Which is why the neshamah yeseirah and Shabbos
meal can serve in the same role. (However, he warns, this only works
for a real se'udah shelishis. A yotzei-zain shaleshudis lacks that
requisite simchah.)

So, it could be that according to the Rambam, walking out of the
se'udah without 7 berakhos is neglecting one's chiyuv to give the couple
a berakhah!

:-)BBii!
-Micha

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Micha Berger             If you're going through hell
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