[Avodah] Better to die

[Micha Berger via Avodah]

On Fri, Apr 28, 2017 at 11:02:29AM +0000, Ben Bradley via Avodah wrote:
: > In it, a man was so love-sick for a woman that he would die unless he
: > could speak to her; at least through a fence...
...
: The focus in the gemara and even more so in Rambam's context is someone
: who's smitten. In that case even a conversation will give hana'as
: issur. In fact that's the only reason the conversation is being sought.
...
: [Email #2. -micha]
: 
: On further reflection, the chiddush of the gemara (at least the man d'amar
: pnyua), and it's a big one, seems to be that chazal were so concerned
: with hana'as issur arayos that they were even gozer YvAY on an hana'as
: arayos d'rabbanon ie a pnyua.

Unless, as in your first email, the issue is more about rewarding the guy
for letting his taavos get so worked up.

I see a slight conflict in your answers.

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha