[Avodah] Praising the Bride

[Zev Sero via Avodah]

On 31/07/16 23:15, Cantor Wolberg via Avodah wrote:
> How can you say that when in days of old, the groom didn’t even see his
>  bride until the wedding?  [...]  Little do we know how many grooms were
> quite disappointed with what they saw.

This is precisely why Chazal forbade being mekadesh someone without seeing
her first.  So it isn't true that they didn't know what they were getting.
The typical way a shidduch worked in those days seems to have been that a
young man would see a young girl and be attracted, and would ask his father
to approach the girl's father to negotiate terms.  Or, if he was older, he'd
approach the girl's father himself.  The girl's own preferences would be
consulted only after everything had been tentatively arranged.

For an example of what can happen when a groom doesn't see the bride first,
see the short marriage of Henry VIII and Anne of Cleves.  Which actually
worked out very well for her, since the divorce was amicable and she remained
the king's close friend.

-- 
Zev Sero               Meaningless combinations of words do not acquire
zev at sero.name          meaning merely by appending them to the two other
                        words `God can'.  Nonsense remains nonsense, even
                        when we talk it about God.   -- C S Lewis