[Avodah] Men and Women and Vows

[Professor L. Levine via Avodah]

The following is from the commentary of RSRH on the Pasuk 30:4 in parashas Matos.


4 But [as for] a woman, if she vows a vow to God and binds [herself]a bond in her father's house in her youth,


A man's vow is binding on him from the outset. He can -
and should (see ibid. 59a; cf. Commentary, Devarim 23:22ff.) - submit
his vow to the national community and its representatives, so that they
should examine the vow and decide on its fulfillment. Only in this way
can a man dissolve his vow. For a man creates his position in life inde-

pendently, and if he binds himself with a vow that cannot be absolved,
he introduces into his life a new element that is not ordinarily applicable.
This element changes and individualizes his life, and, since he is independent,
he is able to take this individuality into account when he shapes
the conditions of his life.

Not so for a woman. The moral greatness of the woman's calling
requires that she enter a position in life created by another. The woman
does not build for herself her own home. She enters the home provided
by the man, and she manages it, bringing happiness to the home and
nurturing everything inside the home in a spirit of sanctity and orientation
toward God. The woman - even more than the man - must
avoid the constraint of extraordinary guidelines in her life, for they are
likely to be an impediment to her in the fulfillment of her calling.
>From this standpoint, one can understand the prescriptions instituted
here out of concern for the woman. The Word of God seeks to
insure the vowing woman against the consequences of her own words,
and therefore confers on the father and on the husband a limited
right to annul vows - on the father, as regards vows of a youthful
daughter still under his care; on the father and on the fiancé, as regards
vows of a betrothed daughter; on the husband, as regards vows of his
wife.


b'nureha. There is a deep psychological basis for the following halachah,
which has no parallel anywhere in the Torah: The age of maturity
for vows starts earlier than that for all the other mitzvos.
In the case of the other mitzvos, this is the halachah: The male is
considered an adult after his thirteenth year; the female is considered an
adult after her twelfth year, for the Torah recognizes that her intelligence
matures at an earlier age. Both are considered adults, only if - in addition
- they have produced signs of puberty.


The binding force of vows, however, begins one year earlier: in the
thirteenth year for boys, and in the twelfth year for girls, provided that
they know that it is to God that vows are made (Niddah 45b).


In these years, the boy becomes a youth, and the girl becomes a
maiden, and there is great significance to the resolutions that they vow
in this period. These are resolutions uttered secretly, known only to God,
but they are often decisive for a lifetime. The rich contents of the life of
a noble man or noble woman are often only the ripened fruit of a resolution
vowed to God in the dawn of youth. This would explain the loving
seriousness with which God receives the vows of  narim and naros who are
maturing into His service.
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