[Avodah] Understanding an Unfriendly Minhag: Not Eating Out on Pesach

[via Avodah]

From: "Prof. Levine via Avodah"  <avodah at lists.aishdas.org>
Subject: [Avodah] Understanding an  Unfriendly Minhag: Not Eating Out
on  Pesach


>....Lest anyone think that I actively  endorse
>this practice of not eating out on Pesach, let me say this: Rabbi  Reiss'
>article brought many sources to show that this practice is a  legitimate
>minhag, not to be disparaged; but I did not see any suggestion  of why
>someone would want to act this way, or any explanation of how this  
practice
>got started. This is especially so in situations where the  kashrus
>standards of the would-be host are at least as high as those of  the
>would-be guest. ... [--RAM]

 

And how, pray tell,  is one to determine how "the  kashrus
standards of the would-be host are at least as high as those of  the
would-be guest"?

Is one to make an inspection of the host's  kitchen and review all of 
the products he uses?  If so, is this not  insulting to the host?

YL

 
 
>>>>>>
 

You don't inspect the host's kitchen because you don't eat in his  house!  
That's the point!
 
Chassidim and others have this minhag of "not mishing"  on Pesach  --" not 
mixing" our meals with other families.  This custom of  not eating at other 
people's houses on Pesach has its source in this,  precisely:  the desire 
not to insult anyone, not to embarrass anyone and  not to hurt anyone's 
feelings on this of all holidays, the one holiday when we  are all more careful 
than usual about what we will and will not eat.
 
The "unfriendly" chassidishe minhag has a very friendly corollary, at least 
 in chutz la'aretz where we have two days of yom tov:  On the last day of  
Pesach we /davka/ go out to eat or invite others to our homes and make a 
point  of "mishing."  If you don't have anyone over for a meal at least you go 
out  visiting other people's homes in the afternoon, and make a point of 
eating  something there.  It's sort of like a sukka hop, you try to visit a few 
 different homes and also host a few different people in your home.  At  
least this was the minhag in my family growing up and among the people I knew 
in  my youth.
 
 
--Toby Katz
t613k at aol.com
..
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