[Avodah] Understanding an Unfriendly Minhag: Not Eating Out on Pesach

[Akiva Miller via Avodah]

On Areivim, in the thread "kitniyot", R' Ben Waxman wrote:

> It doesn't make sense to me that the only holiday in which
> the Torah mentions eating with one's neighbor has become so
> divisive that people would consider not eating with family.

My guess is that "the Torah mentions eating with one's neighbor" is a
reference to how the Korban Pesach must be eaten.

I certainly can't argue with that, but there is much more to this story.
The Pesach 5776 issue of YU's "Torah To-Go" has an article titled "
Understanding an Unfriendly Minhag: Not Eating Out on Pesach" (the url is
too long; just google the title and you'll find it) by Rabbi Yona Reiss,
who writes:

> The late Belzer Rebbe (Rav Aharon Rokeach zt"l) brings a
> different source for the custom of not eating in others'
> homes on Pesach, noting that only with respect to Shavuot
> and Sukkot does the Torah mention the notion of rejoicing
> together with others (Devorim 16:11, 16:14), but not with
> respect to Pesach. Therefore the scriptural implication
> is that on Pesach there may be a basis for parties to
> refrain from joining each other for their meals.

BTW: I have cited this article only because it answers (to some degree) a
question that was raised by RBW. Lest anyone think that I actively endorse
this practice of not eating out on Pesach, let me say this: Rabbi Reiss'
article brought many sources to show that this practice is a legitimate
minhag, not to be disparaged; but I did not see any suggestion of why
someone would want to act this way, or any explanation of how this practice
got started. This is especially so in situations where the kashrus
standards of the would-be host are at least as high as those of the
would-be guest. To twist the title of the article, Rabbi Reiss may have
legitimized this unfriendly minhag, but I still do not understand it.

Akiva Miller
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