[Avodah] De-Chokifying Arayos (including MZ)

H Lampel via Avodah avodah at lists.aishdas.org
Thu Jul 23 06:14:15 PDT 2015

I agree with all those who reacted to my remark about Ramban vs
Rambam, and I am especially grateful to Marty Bluke for the link to
Rav Lichtenstein ztl's comprehensive article that provides the sources
and notes the challenges they present. (I think that link was recently
posted on R. Gil Student's blog.)

As R. Akiva Miller has pointed out, it was Rebbi Eliezer of Nedarim
20b, referenced at the end of Kitzur 150:1 (and, as RAM pointed out,
the Mechaber OC 240:8) who is understood to have expressed duress during
the marital process. (And who is a Tanna, not an Amora, as I incorrectly

Also, RAM asked,
> For purposes of Talmud Torah, where is this Ramban who "strongly disagreed
> with the Rambam when it comes to a marital setting"?

And again, I stand corrected. The Rav who gave me my "chassan shmuess"
was probably referring to the /Iggeress ha-Kodesh,/ which, as Rav
Lichtenstein pointed out in his article, is often erroneously attributed
to Ramban. But apparently, had Rav Lichtenstein been giving me the
"chassan shmuez," I would have come away with the same halacha l'ma'aseh
regarding attitude. He writes:

    We cannot, as the author of the /Iggeret ha-Kodesh/ could not, abandon
    the conviction that so central a component of human nature is not part
    of the /tov me'od/ of primordial creation. Consequently, impelled
    by our spiritual instincts and animated by the faith instilled in us
    by our Torah mentors, we opt for consecration rather than abstinence.

Zvi Lampel

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