[Avodah] HILCHOS KIBUD AV VEIM
Prof. Levine via Avodah
avodah at lists.aishdas.org
Wed Jul 29 08:30:47 PDT 2015
Some selections from this site.
The Aseres HaDibros, the Ten Commandments given
to us by Hashem on Har Sinai are divided into two
parts, the first five are commandments between
man and Hashem (Bein Adam LMakom) and the last
five are commandments between man and fellow man (Bein Adam LChaveiro)
Kibud Av VEim ,the fifth of the Aseres HaDibros,
is listed amongst the commandments that are
between man and Hashem even though it is
seemingly a commandment that is only between man and man.
The reason for this is that honoring ones parents is akin to honoring Hashem.
There are 3 partners in every human being, the
father, the mother and Hashem. If one honors any
of the three it is as if all three have been
honored, and if one dishonors any of the three
its as if all three have been dishonored.
1)It is prohibited to contradict a parent.
(Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 240:2)
If a parent has a verbal disagreement with
another person, and the child tells the other
person I concur with your view, it is
considered contradicting the parent and is prohibited. (Shach Yoreh Deah 240:2)
2) According to some Poskim this prohibition is
only in the presence of the parent. Other Poskim,
however, maintain that even not in the presence
of the parent it is prohibited.
1)It is forbidden to call a parent or refer to
them by their name; rather they need to be
referred to as My father [my teacher] or My mother.
1) What constitutes Kibud, respecting parents?
One must speak to their parents softly, with
respect the way one would speak to a king.
1) Children are obligated to stand up for their
parents when they enter a room.
1) If a parent does something that is against the
Torah and a child sees, the child should not say
You transgressed a Torah prohibition, as
bluntly saying so will cause the parent embarrassment.
Rather, the child should say something to the
effect of: Father
Does it say in the Torah that
one should not
.? in a way that sounds like a
question and not like a chastisement or rebuke,
and the parent will realize on their own that they have committed the sin.
1) If ones father asks for a glass of water or
any other task, and at the same time
his/her mother asked for a glass of water or
another task, tending to the fathers needs
takes precedence, as the son/daughter and the
mother are both obligated to respect the father/husband.
2) If a parent is sleeping it is forbidden to wake them up.
See the above URL for more. YL
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