[Avodah] HILCHOS KIBUD AV V’EIM

[Prof. Levine via Avodah]

See 
http://halachafortodaycom.blogspot.com/2013/02/archives-hilchos-kibud-av-veim.html

Some selections from this site.

The Aseres HaDibros, the Ten Commandments given 
to us by Hashem on Har Sinai are divided into two 
parts, the first five are commandments between 
man and Hashem (Bein Adam L’Makom) and the last 
five are commandments between man and fellow man (Bein Adam L’Chaveiro)
Kibud Av V’Eim ,the fifth of the Aseres HaDibros, 
is listed amongst the commandments that are 
between man and Hashem even though it is 
seemingly a commandment that is only between man and man.
The reason for this is that honoring one’s parents is akin to honoring Hashem.
There are 3 partners in every human being, the 
father, the mother and Hashem. If one honors any 
of the three it is as if all three have been 
honored, and if one dishonors any of the three 
it’s as if all three have been dishonored.

1)It is prohibited to contradict a parent. 
(Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 240:2)
If a parent has a verbal disagreement with 
another person, and the child tells the other 
person “I concur with your view”, it is 
considered contradicting the parent and is prohibited. (Shach Yoreh Deah 240:2)
2) According to some Poskim this prohibition is 
only in the presence of the parent. Other Poskim, 
however, maintain that even not in the presence 
of the parent it is prohibited.

1)It is forbidden to call a parent or refer to 
them by their name; rather they need to be 
referred to as “My father [my teacher]” or “My mother”.

1)  What constitutes “Kibud, respecting” parents?
One must speak to their parents softly, with 
respect the way one would speak to a king.

1) Children are obligated to stand up for their 
parents when they enter a room.

1) If a parent does something that is against the 
Torah and a child sees, the child should not say 
“You transgressed a Torah prohibition”, as 
bluntly saying so will cause the parent embarrassment.
Rather, the child should say something to the 
effect of: “Father
 Does it say in the Torah that 
one should not
.?” in a way that sounds like a 
question and not like a chastisement or rebuke, 
and the parent will realize on their own that they have committed the sin.

1) If one’s father asks  for a glass of water or 
any other task, and at the same time 
his/her  mother asked for a  glass of water or 
another task,  tending to the father’s needs 
takes precedence, as the son/daughter  and the 
mother are both obligated to respect the father/husband.
2) If a parent is sleeping it is forbidden to wake them up.

See the above URL for more.   YL
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