[Avodah] honoring the deceased's wish

[Micha Berger]

On Fri, Sep 21, 2012 at 10:26:06AM -0700, saul newman wrote:
: http://lifeinisrael.blogspot.com/2012/09/interesting-psak-saying-kaddish-against.html
: on saying kaddish etc  when the non-frum decedent  specifically  instructed
:  not to

Quoting:
    [Rav Barukh] Efrati referred to a psak of the Chasam Sofer
    who said that kaddish must be said even for someone who is not
    God-fearing... and especially for someone like Hefer who was a good
    person, who loved Eretz Yisrael and the Jewish people...

I seem to recall someone posting here years ago the notion that we ignore
requests that violate minhagim of aveilus on the grounds that we can
assume that the niftar's wishes have changed now that they are niftar.

Maybe it was during our discussion of the survivor who wanted to be
buried in their striped uniform. He wanted to defend himself before the
beis din shel maalah by being able to point to his garment and declare
that he already served his time in gehenom, and thus there was only
one place to send him. (In that case, RMF pasqened that that particular
request should be met, despite the practice since Rabban Gamliel's day
of burying in white linen.)

GCT and :-)@@ii!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             Here is the test to find whether your mission
micha at aishdas.org        on Earth is finished:
http://www.aishdas.org   if you're alive, it isn't.
Fax: (270) 514-1507                        - Richard Bach