[Avodah] Rav Moshe Shternbuch: Do Adopted Children Sit Shiva For Their Step Parents?

[T613K at aol.com]

From: "Prof. Levine" <llevine at stevens.edu>

>From  http://revach.net/article.php?id=1529

Although they are technically not  related or considered family, Rav 
Moshe Shternbuch says (3:374) that if an  adopted child grew up with 
his step parents and considered them to be his  parents he should sit 
Shiva and keep all halachos of Aveilus upon their  death....
------------------------------

From: Micha Berger _micha at aishdas.org_ (mailto:micha at aishdas.org) 



Linguistic issue: An adoptive parent is (usually) not a step parent.  An
adoptive parent is a parent....
 

....The adjective is instead put on the genetic parents who do  not raise 
the
child. These are "birth parents", to distinguish them from the  adoptive,
ie real parents, the ones who raise the child.

To quote R'  Meir Simcha haKohen miDvinsk, MC Devarim 28:61 (tr mine):
Even  his creation on the physical level, we find in the Torah
that  it is for the intent of his preserving the species on a
spiritual level. 
-- 
Micha  Berger              



>>>>>>
 
I'm glad that RMB clarified an important point, namely,  that adoptive 
parents are not the same as step parents!
 
I would be interested in knowing whether R' Sternbuch's  answer assumes 
that the adoptive child was born to goyim and was converted to  Judaism by his 
adoptive parents.  Would  he give a different answer if  the adoptive child 
was born to Jewish parents?  Would the child have to sit  shiva for /both/ 
his adoptive and his birth parents (assuming he knew when his  birth parents 
died)?  To further subdivide that last question:  would  he have to sit 
shiva for his birth parents if he had never met them?  Or  would he only have to 
sit shiva for his birth parents if he /had/ met  them?  Or would he not 
have to sit shiva for them if he'd met them but he  never had any parent-child 
relationship with them?  
 
If his adoptive father or mother died, would it be  improper for him to say 
kaddish for his adoptive parents while both his birth  parents were still 
alive?  To stay in shul for Yizkor?  Conversely, if  his birth parent died 
first, would it be improper for him to say kaddish and say  Yizkor for the 
birth parent while the parents who raised him were still  alive?
 
Skipping along to another, tangentially related  question:  does an adopted 
child have a chiyuv of kibud av ve'em to his  adoptive parents?  Does he 
get a reward of long life?  Does he have a  chiyuv of kibud av ve'em towards 
his birth parents?  Does he have to seek  them out in order to fulfill this 
mitzva? 
 
-----
 
In regard to "preserving the species on a spiritual  level" I will quote 
myself from an Ask the Rabbi column I wrote in 2007 in  answer to a question 
about childlessness.  (I'm not sure but I think I'm  the only female "rabbi" 
there at jewishanswers.org)


_http://www.jewishanswers.org/ask-the-rabbi-category/womens-issues/?p=2638_ 
(http://www.jewishanswers.org/ask-the-rabbi-category/womens-issues/?p=2638) 
 
--begin quote--
 
 
It was Richard Dawkins who coined the term “memes” to describe little bits 
of  knowledge and information and ideas and emotions that are passed from 
one person  to another. He’s an atheist who is quite wrong-headed in other 
respects, but  this idea of his has great merit. It is not only our genes that 
we seek to pass  on, but our memes. A lower level, ignorant person may have 
no memes, only genes,  but an intelligent and educated and thoughtful 
person has a vast treasury of  memes to pass on, ideas and feelings and talents 
and areas of knowledge. There  are many ways to do this, from writing to 
teaching to being a good friend and  listener. Our genes we can pass on only to 
our biological children, but our  memes we can pass on to unlimited numbers 
of other people. 
--end quote--
 

--Toby  Katz
=============
Romney --  good values, good family, good  hair


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