[Avodah] Vayechi - Judge every person favorably

[Micha Berger]

>From Yeshivat Har Etzion's (Gush's) "Sichot" email list. This weeks mailing
is a sichah by RAL, translated by Kaeren Fish.
<http://vbm-torah.org/archive/sichot72/12-72vayechi.htm>.

Pieces:

	When Yosef's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said,
	"Perhaps Yosef will hate us, and pay us back all the evil which
	we did to him." So they sent word to Yosef... "Forgive, I pray
	you, the transgression of your brother"... and Yosef wept as
	they spoke to him. (Bereishit 50:15-17)

    Rashi (ad loc.) comments that the cause of the brothers' anxiety
    was that Yosef stopped inviting them to dine with him. The source
    ... Bereishit Rabba (100:8). Rabbi Levi maintains that so long as
    Yaakov was alive, Yosef would invite his brothers to dine with him,
    and Yaakov would place him at the head of the table, rather than
    Reuven (the eldest of the brothers) or Yehuda (the future king). Now
    that Yaakov had died, Yosef felt it would no longer be proper for
    him to sit alone at the head of the table, and he therefore stopped
    inviting them. Rabbi Yitzchak teaches that what prompted their
    anxiety was that during the journey the brothers undertook to bury
    Yaakov in Canaan, Yosef took himself off to look at the pit into
    which his brothers had cast him so many years previously....
    ...
    All of this upheaval in the relations between the brothers comes
    about as the result of a mutual lack of understanding, a lack of
    respect for each other, and -- most of all -- a lack of trust in
    each other. Had Yosef really believed in his close relations with
    his brothers, he would have summoned them and discussed the problem...
    ...
    Failure to judge one's fellow favorably creates a problem on two
    levels: there is the narrow view, which concerns the personal offense
    experienced by the individual involved; and there is the broader view
    of the social ramifications. A society built in such a way that no
    one can rely on anyone else, and everyone is always regarded with
    suspicion, is a defective society. A society in which doors are
    always locked is quite unlike a society in which no one ever locks
    his door. ...

    This idea has ramifications for our relations with secular Jews, as
    well as Reform and Conservative groups. Along with the justified and
    necessary opposition to their views, is it not proper that we refrain
    from rejecting outright the possibility that they are truly motivated
    "for the sake of Heaven"? Must we always insist on accusing all of
    them of acting out of personal interests, and viewing only ourselves
    as acting "for the sake of Heaven"? This approach is neither true
    nor healthy. "Judge every person favorably" (Avot 1:6).

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             A pious Jew is not one who worries about his fellow
micha at aishdas.org        man's soul and his own stomach; a pious Jew worries
http://www.aishdas.org   about his own soul and his fellow man's stomach.
Fax: (270) 514-1507                       - Rav Yisrael Salanter