[Avodah] Davening for Others [tefilah and the war with Midyan]

[T613K at aol.com]

From: Micha Berger <micha at aishdas.org>
Due to the relative  quiet lately, I'm forwarding these two posts from
R' Chaim Brown that  intrigued me to consciously try to generate  some
conversation.

http://divreichaim.blogspot.com/

:-)BBii!
-Micha

Thursday,  July 21, 2011
tefilah and the war with Midyan

How another person's  tefilos can effect my ruchniyus (what about my
bechirah?) is an interesting  philosophical question....
 
 
 
>>>>>
We daven every day for ourselves and for our offspring:
 
"Veharev na Hashem es divrei Torascha befinu uvefi amcha Bais Yisrael,  
veniheyeh anachnu vetze'etza'einu...kulanu yod'ei shemecha velomdei Torasecha  
lishma."
 
"Hashem please make the words of Your Torah sweet in our mouths and may we  
and our offspring all be among those who know Your name and who learn Your 
Torah  for its own sake...."
 
Those of us on the distaff side also daven every week when we bentsh  lecht:
 
"Vezakeinu legadel banim uvenai banim chachamim unevonim, ohavei Hashem,  
yir'ei Elokim, anshei emes, zera kodesh, b'Hashem deveikim..."
 
"And give us the merit to raise children and grandchildren who are wise and 
 understanding, who love Hashem, who fear G-d, men of truth, holy seed, 
clinging  to Hashem...."
 
Why do we have these tefillos if our children have bechira?  Why not  say, 
"It's not in Hashem's hands, He has given His creatures free will and they  
will be whatever they make of themselves"?
 
One partial answer is that when our children see how fervently we daven for 
 them to be holy, good and G-d-fearing people, that in itself helps them to 
 become what we are davening they will become.
 
However that only begs the question, because if Hashem has nothing to do  
with it, then our children could well ask, "Why are you davening?  Hashem  
doesn't make me good and holy, I make myself good and holy through the 
exercise  of my free will.  You should daven to me and ask me to make myself a  
G-d-fearing, holy person."
 
So there has to be another answer and I really think it's a very simple  
one.  Yes, Hashem has given us free will, with the scales of good and evil  
evenly matched or with the yetzer hatov and yetzer hara equally powerful -- so 
 that the choice is all ours -- BUT He puts His fingers on the scales a 
little  bit, the choices are not really evenly matched.  In reality, He makes 
it a  little bit easier for us to go one way than the other way. Our bechira 
is  not absolute because Hashem really makes it a little bit easier for us 
to be  good than otherwise, and He further tips the scales by always allowing 
us to  "undo the past" by doing teshuva.  He gives us do-overs.
 
To the extent that Hashem answers a mother's or a father's tefillah and  
puts thoughts into their child's head, thoughts like, "I want my parents to be 
 proud of me" and "I really don't want to be a wild child, deep down I want 
to be  a good child" -- or to the extent that He puts in the way of the 
child a person  or an incident that inspires the child to be a better Jew -- to 
some small  extent there is a slight diminution of absolute free will, and 
my understanding  is that we are davening for this -- that Hashem make it 
just that little bit  easier for us and our children to make the right choices.
 



--Toby Katz
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