[Avodah] attending a C service [was: More on Reviving a Ritual of Tending...]

[T613K at aol.com]

From: Micha Berger _micha at aishdas.org_ (mailto:micha at aishdas.org) 
: 
 

Old TK: : My father (R' Nachman Bulman, for newbies) held that it is  assur 
to  enter 
: a C or R sanctuary for any reason.  He, and much  of the RW Torah  world, 
: sharply disagreed with RYBS and parts of the  MO world on this  issue...

RMB:  FWIW, in general, RYBS was  pretty machmir on this stuff. Many in the 
RW
world would agree to using a  catering hall owned by a non-O synagogue;
he would not.
 
TK:  My  father did not permit the use of a catering hall in  a non-O 
temple either, and he would not enter a non-O temple or synagogue  building at 
all, not even to attend the Orthodox wedding of frum relatives in  the social h
all.  

Old TK:  Personally R' Bulman dealt with  numerous individuals, probably  
thousands 
: over the years, who had  serious family conflicts with non-O relatives, 
non-O
: simchas and occasions,  visits home to non-O parents and so on.  He 
guided 
: them step by step  as to what to say and how to behave in order to be  
: mefayes their  disgruntled relatives.  But bending on principle was not 
part of
: the  allowable spectrum of reaction to these painful family  situations...

RMB:  It can be seen as a chumerah in kibud av va'eim,  not "bending".

TK: The idea that kibud av ve'eim overrides halacha  is contrary to Chazal. 
 Rashi explicitly addresses this question on the  pasuk "Ish imo ve'aviv 
tira'u ve'es Shabsosai tishmoru; Ani Hashem Elokeichem."  "A man (each of you) 
must fear his mother and his father, and keep my Shabosos;  I am Hashem 
your G-d" (Vayikra 19:3)
 
Rashi there says, "The Torah juxtaposed Shabbos to awe of one's father, to  
teach that even though I commanded you regarding awe of one's father, if he 
 tells you to profane the Sabbath, do not listen to him, and THIS IS TRUE 
WITH  REGARD TO ALL THE MITZVOS.  'I am Hashem your (pl) G-d.' You AND your  
father are obligated to honor Me, therefore do not listen to him to nullify 
My  words."
 
After a hundred and twenty years, believe me, a father will not look  back 
and say, "How wonderful that my son honored me, even to the extent of  
sinning befarhesya just to please me."  That will not be his  father's kovod in 
the olam he'emes.
 
By suggesting that attending services in a C cong /might/ be permissible  
for kibud av ve'eim, you are already conceding that attending services in a  
C cong might be permissible, period.
 
For if you grant that it is not permissible, you cannot claim that kibud  
ve'eim makes permissible what is forbidden, as we have just learned from  
Rashi.

 
 


--Toby Katz
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