[Avodah] self esteem

[Micha Berger]

On Sun, Dec 05, 2010 at 11:58:57AM -0500, Yosef Skolnick wrote:
: Just because learning comes easily to someone doesn't mean they are
: interested in learning... What often impresses is me are the illuyim that
: decide to spend their lives learning.  There are plenty of other professions
: or lines of research that they could have chosen but they chose to be in
: klei kodesh, that is a massive feat.

Self esteem is a spiritually dangerous topic. Let me explain...

Something that very often comes up when introducing non-frum people to
the idea of Mussar is that they ask what makes Mussar religious rather
than a self-help program. Often enough that I've gotten it down to
a sound-bite:
    Self-help is the art of actualizing the person you want to be.
    Mussar is becoming the person the Torah tells us Hashem wants you
    to be.

I should point out that there is an entire genre of books (not /your/
favorite author of course, those other ones) that turn mussar (in the
broad sense, not Tenu'as haMussar's approach in particular) into a
qordom lachapor bo (or, since I was discussing self-esteem, an atarah
lehisgadel ba). Just as you could take self-help techniques and use them
to become a better oveid Hashem, someone can take the rich literature
we have middos and battling the yh"r and make it all about the reader
finding self-esteem, fulfillment, happiness, etc... rather than the
pursuit of qedushah.

Now we get to self esteem in particular. Esteem in the hands of the
Alter of Slabodka is empowering a person to reach for more qedushah,
for greater life goals, as well as realizing the esteem of the people
around you -- thus motivating mitzvos bein adam lachaveiro (BALC).

However, discussions of self esteem VERY readily crosses that line.
Such as someone losing sight of the value of learning as an avodah
and making it about learning as a way to prove one's own value.

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             When you come to a place of darkness,
micha at aishdas.org        you don't chase out the darkness with a broom.
http://www.aishdas.org   You light a candle.
Fax: (270) 514-1507        - R' Yekusiel Halberstam of Klausenberg zt"l