[Avodah] Marriage and Love

[Micha Berger]

On Sun, Oct 31, 2010 at 09:11:15PM -0400, Moshe Y. Gluck wrote:
: Hmm, was it this: http://www.aishdas.org/avodah/vol21/v21n016.shtml#05?

In it you say:
> This reminds me of something that I once said. We don't find anywhere that
> Avrohom loved Sorah. We find that Yitzchok loved Rivkah at some point after
> they got married. We find that Ya'akov loved Rochel at first sight.

> The Chassidim do like Avrohom, the Yeshivish like Yitzchok, and the MO like
> Ya'akov. This is to teach us that none of these Mehalchim are better than
> the others, and each can be correct. 

Interesting, because when it comes to which mitzvah they place in the center:
I see the Chassidim seeking to daven like Yitzchaq, the MO to sanctify
the world around them like Avraham, and the yeshivish to sit and learn
like Yaaqov.

BTW, I contrast the three kinds of love exibited by each of the avos in
<http://www.aishdas.org/asp/2004/12/love-part-ii.shtml>. I tie together
the style of love we find in their marriages, in their ahavas Hashem,
and in how they relate to their children.

    I would like to suggest that for Avraham, love was not primarily
    expressed by giving to the beloved, but by giving of oneself to
    further the beloved's goals. This is also how Chazal portray the
    relationship between Avraham and Sarah.... A couple sharing a
    common dream....

    However, the word ahavah only appears once in the naarative of
    Avraham's life. "Take your son, your only one, asher ahavta, whom
    you love, Yitzchaq" to the aqeidah. The word itself first appears
    in a relationship to Yitzchaq. And in fact, when we get to Yitzchaq
    the word appears often...
    Yitzchaq's love was more straightforward. It was giving to the
    beloved. That's why it warrants explicit use of the term ahavah rather
    than letting it remain implied. Avimelekh knew that Yitzchaq and
    Rivqah were spouses when he saw him "metzacheiq es Rivqah ishto"...

    When we get to Yaaqov, we find a synthesis of the two. Yaaqov's avodas
    Yashem is identified with "titen emes leYaaqov, give truth to Yaaqov",
    "veYaaqov ish tam yosheiv ohalim, and Yaaqov was a pure/whole man,
    who dwelled in tents" and chazal add: in tents of study. Yaaqov
    worshipped G-d by studying what was known so far of His Torah, by
    trying to understand him. This love through understanding the other
    is also what we find at the end of his life, when Yaaqov blesses
    each son according to that son's personal strengths and weaknesses....

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             You are where your thoughts are.
micha at aishdas.org                - Ramban, Igeres Hakodesh, Ch. 5
http://www.aishdas.org
Fax: (270) 514-1507