[Avodah] Marriage and Love

[Micha Berger]

On Sun, Oct 31, 2010 at 03:39:03PM +0000, kennethgmiller at juno.com wrote:
: That's only if one looks at Yitzchak and Rivka, as you did in that
: post. But if one looks at Yaakov and Rachel, it seems that "Love and
: Marriage" is also valid.

It also depends what emotion destabilized Rivqa off her camel. Was
she afraid of Yitzchaq, that he was too great for someone like her?
Was it awe and excitement about the holiness of the man she was to
marry?

It's quite likely her attraction began before the wedding as well.

I think much of the issue is in our defining the word "love", or to be
more on topic for Avodah, "ahavah". Even in couples that marry after
social dating, or shidduch-dating but waiting for an "attraction", the
love they feel then is an entirely different emotion than what bonds a
couple after two dozen years of living life's roller-coaster together.

Are they both "ahavah"?


BTW,
Yaaqov marries in 2192
Rachel is nifteres in 2208
They were only married 16 years.

Leah passes away in 2214
Marriage was only 22 years.

For a man who lived 147 years, for very little of his life did he have
an eizer kenegdo.

Rivqa lived until 133 (Sifri, VeZos haBerakhah). Which means she and
Yitzchaq were a couple for at least 119 years (Tosafos Yevamos 61b,
"vekhein"). More if you find a way around Tosafos's problem and combine
this with a different medrash about her being born during the aqeidah,
and thus married at 3.

Yitzchaq's marriage played a totally different part in his life than
either of Yaaqov's.

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             When faced with a decision ask yourself,
micha at aishdas.org        "How would I decide if it were Ne'ilah now,
http://www.aishdas.org   at the closing moments of Yom Kippur?"
Fax: (270) 514-1507                            - Rav Yisrael Salanter