[Avodah] RSRH on Establishing a Household

[Prof. Levine]

Below is part of RSRH's commentary on Bereishis 28

20 Ya’akov made a vow as follows: If God will be 
with me and keep me on this path on which I am 
going, and will give me bread to eat and
clothes to wear;

21 And I return in peace to my father’s house — then God will be God to me.

Ever since the gates of Paradise were closed, the establishment of
an independent household involves so many difficulties, hinges on circumstances
and situations so complex, that a person needs special help
from God so as not to forfeit the whole of his better self in gaining that
piece of bread. Who can count the people who were morally pure before
they set out on “the path to bread and clothing,” but who subsequently,
for the sake of making a living and attaining social status, denied God,
spurned morality, were inconsiderate of their neighbor and of his human
dignity, and so on. Not for naught do our Sages say that “this
path” alludes to Avodah Zara, gilui  aroyas, 
shefichas damim and loshon harah(see Bereshis
Rabbah 70:4).

Thus far, Ya’akov has been a yoshav ohalyim but now he is setting out
to seek a wife and sustenance for his wife and children. The dangers
involved seem to him so grave that first he prays for the preservation
of his character, that he not forfeit his spiritual and moral integrity.

Integrity is the first thing that the ancestral Jew wishes for himself
as he sets out to establish his home. Only then does he request:
v'nasan li — “to me” — i.e., an independent livelihood, food and clothing, so
as to live respectably in society; in short: sustenance and social position.
The third wish, which lives, and should live, in the heart of every Jew,
is for sholom, peace, and finally bais av, family ties that remain intact.
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