[Avodah] Benching at a wedding

[Danny Schoemann]

R' Benjamin Shaw asked:

> When I go to a wedding I often want to leave before the official benching has started.
> I see other benching without organizing a Ziman. Is this correct or should a Ziman be created?

It's better to bench with a zimun - see below.

The KSA in 149:7 mentions that it's OK to break up into smaller Zimun
groups [of 10, I assume] and not wait for the "Big Benching" - though
it would seem that each group should say the 7-Brachot! (with a Kos?
he doesn't say. Never seen this done.)

> Can one wash and not have intention to be included in the Zimun so they can leave early?

In addition to RMB's answer, in the KSA 45:15 we find cases where you
can eat together and not bench together.

If the 3rd fellow arrived after the first 2 started eating, and
finishes before they finish, he MAY bench without a zimun. Though it's
a Mitzva to wait for the Zimun.

Furthermore, even if he planned on eating together from the start, and
then worries about a [monetary] loss or some other "emergency beyond
his control [Ownes]" he may bench by himself.

But if nothing is urgent he should be machmir and wait for the Zimun.

> Please included references to your answers....
Always. :-)

Trivia of the day: The KSA says in 149:1 that one should not pour the
2nd Kos until after benching. (Never seen it done this way.)

- Danny, on round 14 of the Kitzur SA